Moms Are Being Lunch Boxed Shamed And That's Not Okay

One of my co-workers packs lunches for her grandson in preschool consisting of fruits, vegetables, a juice box, some type of protein and a cookie. One day his teacher told him he wasn't allowed to eat the cookie inside his lunch box because it was "unhealthy" and might upset the other kids who didn't have one. What shocked me was hearing that teachers are already "food policing" kids lunch-boxes at an early age. 

A similar incident happened to a mom in Sydney, Australia where a teacher shamed her for packing two pink wafers in a lunch box that had fruits, veggies, and meatballs. Sadly, there are lots of stories just like that happening to moms everywhere. One mom in Texas received a hateful note from a daycare worker telling her to "put her son on a diet and go away."

The mom-shaming culture trend just keeps growing and getting out of hand. From eating organic to breastfeeding, they do a pretty good job tearing moms down for their choices that have nothing to do with the critics. Even if their so-called intentions are "good" or they're simply misguided, whenever adults believe they have a right to pass judgment on other moms for how they feed their kids without even knowing their personal background or experiences with food, it is self-righteousness at its core. 

When I was growing up, I had a PB&J sandwich with Goldfish Crackers, a chocolate chip cookie or fruit snacks served with Capri Sun and I survived and I'm still pretty healthy overall. My classmates and teachers never complained as they focused on whatever they were eating and other things. Frankly, there are more important things to worry about than whatever a kid is eating from their lunch box. Aside from food allergies, sensitivities, and other factors a lot of kids are simply picky eaters. 

Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and the web are teeming with lunch-box ready ideas and strategies to assist parents in turning their picky eaters into pint-sized gourmands eating a colorful medley of different food groups. But despite the resources and printable meal plans for affordable and healthy, nutritious lunches, it's a lot easier said than done. While I'm not a parent, I know raising kids has its challenges and introducing them to eating healthy is an obstacle course for many moms so they do what they can to ensure their kid is getting fed and nourished. Serving a piece of cookie or Lunchables isn't going to kill anyone. There is no shame in deciding to pack a kid's lunch with potato chips, a sandwich, an apple, and juice or water. 

An article from Yahoo Lifestyle shares the negative impact lunch-box shaming has on a child's self-esteem and overall view of food in general. 

“There are so many factors when it comes to feeding our kids every day: At lunch, we want to make sure they’ll actually have something they’ll eat so they have enough energy to play and learn, but there are also so many restrictions with things like peanut butter being banned from classrooms,” Lindsay Powers tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Not to mention that food can get expensive, especially if you’re buying lots of fruits and veggies and organic packaged foods you know your kids just aren’t eating. So often times, parents rely on feeding their kids meals they know work.”

Powers says that it’s unfair to judge a child’s overall nutrition based on one meal.

“Each individual meal may not always be perfectly healthy or perfectly balanced, but when you look at what a kid eats over the course of a week, everything balances out,” she says, adding that criticism over the contents of a lunchbox can affect how a child views food.

 “We’re giving our kids food issues by shaming them over each individual meal — especially when they’re 5 years old!” Powers says. “Food is so loaded in our culture. Cake is good when we eat it at a birthday party, but bad when we eat it at home. We’re ‘being good’ when we eat healthy and ‘being bad’ when we indulge in candy. Kids don’t understand this nuance — they just think they’re good or bad people depending on what they eat. If our goals are to raise adventurous eaters with a healthy attitude toward food, shaming them over one meal flies in the face of that!”

“Lunch is complicated,” Sole-Smith tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Kids’ appetites are tough to predict because they change often with activity level and growth fluctuations. And lunch can be a pretty stressful meal — you’re in the cafeteria, it’s loud and crowded, it’s almost always too short and kids are easily distracted. For those reasons alone, it’s totally reasonable for parents to want to pack the ‘easy’ foods they know their kids will like so the food part of the meal isn’t an added stressor. Add on food allergies, sensory challenges, the family’s grocery budget and how much time they even have available to pack lunch and all the more reason why tossing in some Oreos or goldfish crackers is an affordable, easy way to give your kid a good lunch that will comfort and nourish them.”

Sole-Smith says lunchbox-shaming — which she says unfairly targets moms — does more harm than good.

“Nutrition-policing kids’ lunchboxes doesn’t make kids eat better,” she says. “It just embarrasses the child and the family getting singled out. We have lots of research to show that shaming or pressuring kids to eat in certain ways backfires heavily.”

It's really not a teacher's place to dictate what a parent can and can't pack for their child's lunch in school. Teachers already have a lot on their plate as is and they're not qualified to weigh in on nutrition advice since they don't have the training for that. The parent knows their kid more than anybody and if they're concerned about eating habits, they can speak to a pediatrician or family doctor for a referral to a family dietician. The school administrators and teachers need to trust the parents judgment regarding food choices and just focus on their job. Simple as that. Had I been the parent of a child criticized for having Goldfish Crackers or Oreos with a sandwich, fruit, and veggies by their teacher, I'd pack extra in their sack lunch or lunch box with a written note in there. Lol

"Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others."-1 Thessalonians 4:10-12

Eating Organic Makes You A Jerk

Sadly, it's true...

When it comes to "eating right" people turn up their noses and act like jerks. 

"When folks start shopping and eating organic, a self-righteous change begins. In other words, they become snobs." - Dr. Dale Archer

Read more at NBC News

Kate Hudson On Eating Healthy 

Eating What Works Best For Your Body

Is Organic Food Really Better For You?

Is Organic Produce Healthier Than The Conventional Kind?

Cooking Is A Necessity & A Lost Art

Whether it's hearty stews, scrambled eggs, frying chicken in a pan, and much more. Knowing how to cook opens up a brand new world of endless possibilities using ingredients and craftsmanship to create savory dishes and introduces you to many different cultures, customs, and flavors. With cooking, you have more control over your health, diet, and finances and can share the love with people through indulgent recipes for hospitality, caring for moms who've given birth, a sick elderly neighbor, and more. It's one of the timeless skills to have in this day and age of smartphones and technology that has lost its meaning for many people. Cooking goes beyond just tasty food, it's a tradition that's passed down for memory's keepsake and sharing joy in bringing families and friends together. Something that quite frankly is overlooked thanks to a combination of factors in modern society.

Before TV dinners and microwaves were invented, people had to learn how to cook to feed their families and communities. It was a necessity to know how back then but nowadays, this important life skill has been neglected by many who prefer the convenience of instant or microwavable dinners and fast food. While I enjoy feasting on top ramen (a college staple) especially during winter because all I add is hot water to the noodles and it's ready after five minutes, I get bored with having the same thing everyday (unless it's PB&J and pickles for lunch lol) and want to expand my horizons by trying something new or different. It keeps things more interesting and fun besides satisfying my palate.

If you're a single lady looking for a husband, you need to learn how to prepare nutritious and delicious meals for him. Yes, there are men out there who don't mind cooking (and some can cook better than their wives) but men always love and appreciate a good home-cooked meal made by his wife. (After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Lol) Though husbands should learn how to cook too especially if both contribute to the home financially. Or in case their wives are ill or recovering from postpartum. It's a basic survival and life skill that both genders should have equal part in. Cooking together in the kitchen also improves coupled relationships in intimacy and spicing up the heat in the bedroom......

But even if you're not married or choose to stay single, the benefits of cooking your own food are enormous. It can reduce stress, boost your energy, help you look good and feel better about your health, stabilize your weight and mood, and also improve sleep. Plus, it's less costly than dining out or ordering takeout. Hence why it's never too late to start! And don't say you can't learn how to cook. That is absurd. You can take classes, ask your friends and family for their favorite recipes, peruse cookbooks and magazines, watch videos or the Food Network channel, browse online or download a cooking app. That being said, there's no reason why you can't be taught. If you can read, you can learn. All it takes is practice and patience.

I'm not a chef or a great cook but I've gradually gained confidence in my cooking abilities the more I learned and practiced. I give credit to my mom for showing me how while making fun of my chopping skills and overthinking tendencies. If you're intimidated, start slow with learning simple and easy dishes first until you've mastered those and gained confidence. You might want to practice with some easy and simple recipes from my recipes tab. That's why it's beneficial for parents to teach their children how to cook early starting at age 5 or toddler years. Not only will it introduce them to kitchen basics and safety but also help them with creativity, gaining confidence and knowledge in the kitchen. Which will help them immensely in adulthood. It is messy and hard work, but it's worth it! Kids are more capable than you realize. Everyone can learn regardless of ability and age.

There are a lot of young women in their 20's and 30's who can't cook or were never taught by their mom, aunt, grandma, etc. And with both parents working and coming home late, exhausted from work, parenting, etc. It's less time consuming to settle for unhealthy fast food or microwave ultra processed meals to feed themselves and their family. Plus, home economics isn't taught in schools like it used to be which is one reason why many students can't perform basic life skills after graduation. Cooking being one of them. A seventh grader in Louisville, Kentucky wrote a piece in a column article pushing for Home Ec classes to be taught in a generation that desperately needs it. Which can be read here.

Home Ec used to be a requirement in school but nowadays it's very limited apparently because of budgeting issues or the stereotype being that it's "oppressing" women to be doormats and slaves to their husbands. Something that radical feminists came up with, you can read more about what submission and femininity actually is in this post. (It will trigger radical feminists) Regardless, I've heard women say they wished they were taught as a teenager or younger and learned during college or after they got married. 

For those who are burdened by their jobs and juggling added demands of family and school, or those who often travel for their job or don't come home until really late. One option is to gather all your ingredients and dump them into a crockpot or instant pot before you head out. Another time saving option is to prepare meals over the weekend and use them as leftovers throughout the week. If you need to save time on grocery shopping and meal planning, try meal subscription boxes that delivers healthy ingredients with printed recipes at your door. There's lots of options with good deals for all levels from a novice home cook to seasoned chefs that also takes dietary restrictions into account. 

However, if you're too exhausted to cook and need a break, and you're tired of having PB&J sandwiches for dinner, I've got your back! Lol. If you're looking for an alternative to ensure you or your household stays alive with healthier options over highly processed foods, here's a clear and concise review to check out. if you should ever need it.

If you tend to associate being in the kitchen "tedious", make it fun (or more bearable) by playing music that fits the season, theme, or mood you're in. In December, I'll play Christmas music or carols when I'm baking treats or decorating cookies. (I'll never pass up Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas") It's just a sweet and fun tradition I like to embrace and it's more fun with family or friends pitching in. Whether it's playing the radio, CD, a playlist, or podcast, incorporating background noise or entertainment can make the kitchen experience less boring and daunting.  

Cooking isn't really difficult or boring unless you make it so. It's healthier, better for your wallet, and creates memorable experiences that last a lifetime. What's better than eating nutritious and delicious foods you've prepared? 

Shaming Moms Who Don't Breastfeed Exclusively

I've noticed a common theme among a community of moms where many of them compare to other moms or single a mom out of the group to criticize, belittle, make fun of, backstab, gossip, etc. You'll see it with soccer moms, dance moms, cheerleading moms, homeschool moms and one of those grassroots movements of moms in communities like MOPS or MOMSnext. Wherever there's a moms group anywhere, whether it'd be at church or some other function, there's always this condescending and shaming "compare and contrast" attitude where it's like they never grew up from high school. And the topic and challenges with breastfeeding is one of them.

For some reason, whether a mom is feeding her baby formula or combo feeding it with breast milk, they get looked down on and criticized by the ones in the "breastfeeding only" camp as they're gazing down from their high and mighty throne. Perhaps these moms are simply misguided and are only trying to "encourage" other moms to breastfeed solely because "breast is best". Or they're judgmental and insecure thus want to tear these women down. Whatever the reason, they're too quick to judge and tear those women down for whatever choices or reasons they have.

Not all moms are able to breastfeed their baby for a variety of reasons! It doesn't take much to simply Google potential reasons for why they don't breastfeed or hear other people's perspectives. I'm not a mother thus have no experience or expertise on this topic but what I can say is that when it comes to feeding a baby, formula fed is way better than no fed. Whatever helps the baby grow and develop into a happy, healthy, and nurtured human being is all that matters. 

Breastfeeding does offer many benefits and is known as the "perfect" baby food for 6 months of exclusive feeding, however, say if the mom's health isn't good then her breast milk quality and supply is affected. Thus, the infant isn't getting adequate nutrition the body needs. Or the mom isn't able to breastfeed exclusively because her maternity leave is very short, thus has to return to work after the baby is born. So the infant requires supplemental formula feeding with breastfeeding or just formula feeding in case mom is unable to breastfeed at all due to a variety of causes she has to ensure it's getting nourished and growing properly. 

Formula milk is by no means unhealthy or "bad" for babies. There's lots of good formula brands out there that have been modified to meet nutritional needs a baby has throughout their developmental stages. While it may not contain certain antibodies and chemical substances that only breast milk has in comparison, there are formula brands that have nutrients that are close to the original compounds in breast milk. There are lots of children who were fed formula that have grown up to be healthy and strong educated humans who are thriving. 

Many moms actually combo feed their babies with breast milk and formula milk or just breast milk from breast and bottle for those reasons, or many other different reasons. And many stick with just formula feeding because of personal preferences or reasons they feel embarrassed to disclose because of the constant stigma and shaming surrounding breastfeeding being superior above all. As long as the baby is happy and well-fed, why does it matter "how" they're getting nutrition as long they're healthy, developing, and nurtured well? 

All there is to say is that there is no need to pass judgment on a mother who's doing the best she can with what she has. Whatever their reason is, let's work more towards giving them support and encouragement for doing the best they can to raise their child.

 

 “It’s so nice to have so many options now,” she says. “I think that in this day and age, it’s so important as a mother to encourage other moms. Everybody has a different journey when it comes to feeding their baby and it’s so important to be supportive of everybody.”

“As you become a mom you enter this club and it’s unlike anything else in the world and everybody has different advice and thoughts,” she shares. “I think that as anything else, it’s just about supporting each other and being encouraging with one another because everybody has a different journey when it comes to raising their baby, especially with feeding.”

-Bindi Irwin

Building Character Qualities In Children

In addition to my posts, Soaking In God’s Word and Abiding In Christ, I want to focus briefly on building character traits that every person who identities as a Christ follower should exhibit in their daily lives.

As Christians, we are called to be an example to everyone around us. Whether it’s our families, friends, neighbors, and strangers we encounter to witness God’s love as a bright, shining light in this dark, sinful world.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”-Matthew 5:14-16

But before we can be a beacon to others, we have to examine our lives first. As sinful humans by our fallen nature, we’re constantly waging war with the Holy Spirit. “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”-Galatians 5:17

If we truly claim to be born again children of God, then we should desire to do His perfect will, but more than that, actually commit to living it out. If we really love God, our willingness to obey should overpower any resistance our flesh has with His perfect plans. But the problem is that we’re not spending enough time with God like we desperately should. Instead we allow ourselves to succumb to our flesh.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

I don’t know how this Scripture can be more clear than that. If we’re serious about making changes to please God out of sincere love for Him, we have to renew our minds. Wherever our mind is, our actions follow. Plain and simple.

What are the natural inclinations of the fleshly body? “Selfishness, greed, lust, impurity, fornication, pride, idolatry, envy, strife, bitterness, debauchery.” (Mark 7:20-23, Colossians 3:5).

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. “-Galatians 5:22-23

So there you have it. Living out the fruits of the Spirit takes intentionality, effort, and persistence. A seed doesn’t plant without being watered and absorbed by sunlight. The best teacher and role model to learn from is Jesus. He not only taught how to live but He also lived it out. As we read more about Him in the Word, we’ll have a better understanding of how to live like Him. When we strive to be more like Christ every day, our lives will naturally mirror those characteristics in abundance. (Philippians 3:7-11, 1 John 2:6, 1 John 3:2)

I found this lovely chart that serves as an excellent guide to promote Christ-like character qualities. This will help parents to equip their child to develop those qualities. As the Bible instructs them train their children in the ways of the Lord while they’re young. (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:11; Genesis 18:18-19; Deuteronomy 11:19) The earlier they’re taught these principles, the easier it’ll be for them to love the Lord and cherish His ways when they’re adults. This chart has 49 Christ-like attributes to pick from and focus on implementing once a month. You can view the chart {here}

In addition, I found another printable {here} that goes well with the character chart. It contains a list of positive affirmations to say to your child. A good idea is to incorporate scriptures with those affirmations to help build and foster self-esteem in a biblical way. 

Here's another resource for cultivating and nurturing children's identity in Christ {here}. To appreciate how God made them. 

It’s important to regularly study the Bible together as a family. Something I wish I had growing up. May we too strive to demonstrate the love and humility Jesus lived while there’s still time left.