Thursday, April 27, 2023

Shaming Moms Who Don't Breastfeed Exclusively



I've noticed a common theme among a community of moms where many of them compare to other moms or single a mom out of the group to criticize, belittle, make fun of, backstab, gossip, etc. You'll see it with soccer moms, dance moms, cheerleading moms, homeschool moms and one of those grassroots movements of moms in communities like MOPS or MOMSnext. Wherever there's a moms group anywhere, whether it'd be at church or some other function, there's always this condescending and shaming "compare and contrast" attitude where it's like they never grew up from high school. And the topic and challenges with breastfeeding is one of them.

For some reason, whether a mom is feeding her baby formula or combo feeding it with breast milk, they get looked down on and criticized by the ones in the "breastfeeding only" camp as they're gazing down from their high and mighty throne. Perhaps these moms are simply misguided and are only trying to "encourage" other moms to breastfeed solely because "breast is best". Or they're judgmental and insecure thus want to tear these women down. Whatever the reason, they're too quick to judge and tear those women down for whatever choices or reasons they have.

Not all moms are able to breastfeed their baby for a variety of reasons! It doesn't take much to simply Google potential reasons for why they don't breastfeed or hear other people's perspectives. I'm not a mother thus have no experience or expertise on this topic but what I can say is that when it comes to feeding a baby, formula fed is way better than no fed. Whatever helps the baby grow and develop into a happy, healthy, and nurtured human being is all that matters. 

Breastfeeding does offer many benefits and is known as the "perfect" baby food for 6 months of exclusive feeding, however, say if the mom's health isn't good then her breast milk quality and supply is affected. Thus, the infant isn't getting adequate nutrition the body needs. Or the mom isn't able to breastfeed exclusively because her maternity leave is very short, thus has to return to work after the baby is born. So the infant requires supplemental formula feeding with breastfeeding or just formula feeding in case mom is unable to breastfeed at all due to a variety of causes she has to ensure it's getting nourished and growing properly. 

Formula milk is by no means unhealthy or "bad" for babies. There's lots of good formula brands out there that have been modified to meet nutritional needs a baby has throughout their developmental stages. While it may not contain certain antibodies and chemical substances that only breast milk has in comparison, there are formula brands that have nutrients that are close to the original compounds in breast milk. There are lots of children who were fed formula that have grown up to be healthy and strong educated humans who are thriving. 

Many moms actually combo feed their babies with breast milk and formula milk or just breast milk from breast and bottle for those reasons, or many other different reasons. And many stick with just formula feeding because of personal preferences or reasons they feel embarrassed to disclose because of the constant stigma and shaming surrounding breastfeeding being superior above all. As long as the baby is happy and well-fed, why does it matter "how" they're getting nutrition as long they're healthy, developing, and nurtured well? 

All there is to say is that there is no need to pass judgment on a mother who's doing the best she can with what she has. Whatever their reason is, let's work more towards giving them support and encouragement for doing the best they can to raise their child.

 

 “It’s so nice to have so many options now,” she says. “I think that in this day and age, it’s so important as a mother to encourage other moms. Everybody has a different journey when it comes to feeding their baby and it’s so important to be supportive of everybody.”


“As you become a mom you enter this club and it’s unlike anything else in the world and everybody has different advice and thoughts,” she shares. “I think that as anything else, it’s just about supporting each other and being encouraging with one another because everybody has a different journey when it comes to raising their baby, especially with feeding.”

-Bindi Irwin

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