The Subject of Prayer

Prayer is something that’s obvious and seems to come naturally to believers, until you stop and think about it. It didn’t take long to realize just how bad I was at praying after I came to Christ. I know many Christians who admit to struggle at praying, even those who came to accept Jesus early in life. So I just thought I’d take the time to share what I’ve learned about prayer.

1. God invites us to pray. Have you ever wondered why God wants us to pray when He already knows what we’re going to say? I sure have. But what if prayer actually has more to do with God speaking to us than us telling Him our needs? Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”

How awesome is that!? The God who created the universe wants to reveal His great and mighty secrets that we don’t know! We just have to talk to Him. But more importantly listen. Prayer is a two-way communication between you and God. Not just a one-sided conversation. God communicates in a variety of ways through His Word, people, circumstances, and His creation. It’s easy to tell God our problems, thoughts, desires and then get distracted or fall asleep afterwards. But when we don’t take the time to listen or pay attention to what He’s saying, we’re going to miss out on what God desires to show us!

2. It pleases God when we pray. God takes delight in our prayers. They’re like an offering to Him. “May my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering.”-Psalm 141:2.
   “Then another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, along with the prayers of all the saints, on the golden altar before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose up before God from the hand of the angel.”-Revelation 8:3-4.

I think a lot of times we’ll pray to find out how we can please God, when He just wants us to spend time with Him. God created us to glorify Him by seeking His face and knowing Him more intimately.

“My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with Me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”” (Psalm 27:8)

3.Prayer is a duty. Not only is it a privilege to pray, it is also a responsibility of every born-again believer. Jesus commanded His disciples to pray for several reasons:

1.We won’t fall into temptation
2. To intercede for people on their behalf
3. To carry out God’s will on earth

(1 Samuel 12:23, Daniel 9&10, Matthew 6:9-13, Matthew 7:7, Matthew 9:38, Luke 22:40, Ephesians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 5:17, 2 Thessalonians 3:1, 1 Timothy 2:1, James 5:16)

Sometimes it’s easy to see prayer as a chore and just pray the words like a mantra thinking it’s good enough to please God. But read what Jesus has to say about vain-less repetition during prayer in Matthew 6:7, “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again.”

And in Isaiah 29:13, “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.” God isn’t impressed by how eloquent our prayers are, if our hearts attitude fail to show utmost respect and reverence towards Him, resulting in disobedience which greatly dishonors Him like a burnt offering (1 Samuel 15:22). God desires for all of us to be faithful in prayer, even when we don’t feel like it, but more importantly He treasures our obedience and allegiance to Him. (Mark 12:30)

4. We must pray in faith. James 1:6-7 says, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” Praying in faith doesn’t mean that when you just believe with all your might, you will receive your request, or that you didn’t have enough faith when your prayer wasn’t answered the way you wanted. All it means is that you remember who you’re praying to. You must come to the Lord knowing He is all sovereign and has wisdom to answer your prayer in the best way for His glory. I’m actually glad God doesn’t give me everything I ask for!

Sometimes when I pray, I really don’t have much faith. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t make myself trust God. In these moments, all we have to do is ask God for faith! He wants His children to trust Him. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can! Think about it. If the Spirit is God and is perfectly in tune with God’s will, and the same Spirit also prays for us, wouldn’t the Holy Spirit give us things to pray for that God wants us to pray? If God Himself lays things on our hearts to pray, it means we can have complete confidence knowing that God desperately wants to answer those prayers.

5. God helps us in prayer. Have you ever wanted to pray, but couldn’t think of the words to say? I know I have! In this situation, when something so heavy is on our heart, but we’re not sure how to express it or know what to say, we must remember that “…the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” -(Romans 8:26). Isn’t that so comforting and reassuring? We can ask God to tell us what to pray for and give us the desire to talk to Him when we don’t feel like praying. There’s a ton of prayers in the Bible to learn from and model, especially the Psalms and from Jesus Himself. The more we abide in God’s Word, the more we are familiar with His heart and won’t run out of things to pray.

“The secret to prayer is aligning yourself to God’s heart rather than being heard for the words you pray.” -Jen

Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” In this verse, it doesn’t say that God took away his troubles, but instead He removed his fears. It doesn’t sound like it made things better, but the Psalmists fears disappeared because God assured him that He heard his prayer and was in control of the situation. So God doesn’t always take away our problems, but He comforts us and gives us peace whether it’s handling our situations, developing our trust in Him, or giving us what we need to grow in our faith in His timing.

After pouring our hearts to God, we can rest assure that He has heard us and will take care of the rest.

Something to keep in mind is that prayer really works! So if you’re praying for God to move, well get ready because He is going to move mightily!

“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.” – Max Lucado

“A godly man is a praying man. As soon as grace is poured in, prayer is poured out. Prayer is the soul’s traffic with Heaven; God comes down to us by His Spirit, and we go up to Him by prayer.” – Thomas Watson

“What the church needs today is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men who the Holy Spirit can use—men of prayer, men mighty in prayer. The Holy Spirit does not come on machinery but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men—men of prayer.” – E. M. Bounds

To have a strong vibrant prayer life, it is very important to meditate on God's Word to develop a richer, deeper and intimate understanding of who He is which impacts how you approach Him in prayer. Knowing God's character and who you are in Him, that is knowing your identity as His beloved child, will make a difference in how you pray. Like with any relationship, it takes time to build and grow and the more you learn about God the more you'll know Him and it will flow through your prayer life. Things like unforgiveness or bitterness will hinder your prayers from reaching God and so can shame and so forth. Faith develops more as you consistently "work out" your beliefs in Him. Like gaining more muscle through exercising and eating right. If you’re struggling to have a consistent bible and prayer time, here are some links to check out: 

Appreciating How God Made You (My personal story)

My Identity in Christ + Spiritual Warfare

Consequences Unforgiveness Has On Prayer 

Forgiving The "Unforgiving" (Powerful reminder of the importance in knowing God's Word and prayer)

Winning The War Against Shame and Condemnation

The Role Prayer Has Against Bitterness Towards Slander Or False Accusations 

My Personal Devotions

How To Dig Yourself Out Of A Bible Reading Rut

Reading The Bible For New Christians

The Secret Sauce To Spiritual Growth

24 Bible Reading Plans That Will Satisfy Anybody

The Most Comprehensive List Of Bible Reading Plans

Six Sources For Weekly Bible Memorization Verses

How To Create The Ultimate Bible Study Plan For Beginners

Love God Greatly

Good Morning Girls

Coffee and Bible Time

Crack Your Bible

The Attitude Of Gratitude

I recently started a gratitude journal after being inspired by 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

About a week ago, I was in a rut of whining and complaining to God about how things weren’t going in the direction I thought they would until He directed my eyes to that verse. As I stopped and pondered for a minute, I realized that God has blessed me with so much that I wasn’t seeing because I was taking them all for granted. It’s one thing to be grateful whenever things go our way. But to be thankful in all things, regardless of how they appear is entirely different. God wants us to be grateful no matter what our circumstances are like, not just when things are going well. Circumstances are temporary, they don’t bring us true contentment. True contentment is found in the LORD. The only way to be truly grateful is to keep our eyes on Him. The joy of the LORD is eternal and fulfilling. It helps us from slipping into a state of bitterness, depression, negativity, and self-pity caused by an ungrateful heart. The Bible has tons of verses filled with people praising and thanking God during difficult times. The Psalms is a great place to start.

There are so many things we can thank God for if we just stop and slow down to look around and see the many blessings He’s given us. I think keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to do that. It enables us to reflect on God’s faithfulness and love towards us whenever disappointments and frustrations starts to sink in. I recommend looking through it during your personal worship/quiet time with the Lord. Spend time thanking Him for all you received in your journal. So far, I’ve listed out 182 things to be thankful for in my journal. And I intend to keep filling it up. The goal is to acknowledge our Heavenly Father for who He is and how He’s provided for us during the good and bad. God is so worthy of our praise and thanksgiving!!

Here are some examples you can use if you’re not sure where to begin:

1. God’s salvation
2. Kindness from a stranger
3. Flowers blooming in the backyard
4. The roof over my head
5. Feeding homeless people at the park
6. Visiting my grandparents

And so forth. There is nothing too small or big to praise Him with. It is important to note however the distinction between thanking God “in” all circumstances as opposed to being grateful “for” them. Surely it’s unreasonable to be thankful for cancer or a tragedy of a loved one. God never intended for pain and suffering to happen to any of us. But because we live in sinful, broken world it’s inevitable. I have a dear friend with illnesses that constantly sends him back and forth to the hospital, but no matter how sick he gets or how much pain he’s in, he’s always cheerful and looking for ways to minister to nurses, doctors, and staff. Thanking God everyday for a chance at living and giving Him all the glory. I pray that this has triggered an inspiration to do the same. The more you get into the habit of thanking/praising God, the better you see His goodness in your life.

“Every good and perfect gift comes from God.” -James 1:17

“Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”-Hebrews 13:15

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”- Psalm 100:1-5

A Tragic Road To Recovery

 

Cory Monteith was a Canadian actor whose most notable role was Finn Hudson, an all-star quarterback from the hit show Glee on Fox Television. A musical comedy series centered on teenage misfits who join a choir group called Glee club. There, they discover acceptance, strength, and ultimately their voice while pursuing their dreams in the real world.

His humility and palpable sweetness set the tone for the wide-eyed heartthrob character Finn. He was well respected and adored by his co-stars, friends, and a multitude of fans. However, nobody was prepared for the tragedy that happened on July 13th, 2013. Cory died of a toxic overdose from a lethal combination of heroin and alcohol inside his hotel room in Vancouver. The news of his death shook his fan base and everyone close to him, especially his fiancée Lea Michele who played Rachel Berry (Finn’s lover) on Glee. A tribute episode was made in memory of him titled “The Quarterback” where fans could mourn with the cast over his death.

Cory had been battling substance abuse since the age of 13 and dropped out from school at 16. His heavy addiction landed him into rehab at 19 after family and close friends intervened. After the stint, he continued the path of his addiction by stealing money from a family member. Once given the ultimatum of getting clean or going to jail, he chose the highway to becoming sober. He took acting classes and focused on rebuilding his life as he made concerted effort to stay sober. His greatest accomplishments later on was earning his high school diploma and casting his role on Glee.

Unfortunately, his turning point was tragically short lived after completing another stint in March. On Friday July 12th, he went out with his friends and returned to his hotel room alone Saturday morning. Later at noon on Saturday, the 31 year old talented actor was found dead in his room.

In a candid interview, Cory revealed why he started using drugs. He said,

“It was about finding a place. For me, it wasn’t about the substance per se, it was about not fitting in. I hadn’t found myself at all. I had no idea who I was. I had no idea where I was going. Then all of a sudden, I had this thought that I was going to be this “bad” kid. So that all the other kids will look at me and think “Oh, he’s the bad kid, he’s cool.” And so then they’ll want to hang out with me.”

Peer pressure and a desire to fit in can heavily influence teenagers into using drugs because of the challenges presented during those years as they’re transitioning into a season of discovering who they are and what social groups they belong to. Other risk factors that increase the likelihood of drug use are genetics, a community where drug accessibility is high, and parents using or condoning the use of drugs.

Some adolescents use drugs as a coping mechanism for high levels of stress or problems within their home. Others use it to get high, relieve boredom, or just out of curiosity.

A study in 2014 reported, “an estimated 2.7 percent of American adolescents ages 12 to 17 suffered from alcohol dependence or abuse, and 3.5 percent suffered from drug dependence or abuse.”(DrugRehab)

Research has shown that the earlier onset of drug or alcohol use, the greater the person will develop a substance addiction. Teens are more prone to addiction because their brains aren’t fully developed compared to adults. The parts of the brain that control emotion, coordination, and motivation develop more rapidly than the parts in charge of logic and reasoning. Teens often try to appear cool and mature hence why they don’t consider the risks involving drugs and alcohol too well.

Something to remember is that “cells that fire together wire together.” The brain has a complex network of neuron (nerve cells) pathways that transmit communication signals to one another. It does so by releasing a chemical (neurotransmitter) for the other cell to absorb and pass on to other cells, and as they communicate frequently, the connection grows stronger. When they travel on the same neural pathway over and over, they transmit messages faster and faster, creating this automatic loop that plays itself on repeat. Basically the more we repeat a thought or activity, the more entrenched the pathways form in our brain which creates a habit that goes into autopilot mode. Making it very difficult to break a habit or addiction. The difference between a habit and addiction is that habits can be positive or negative, while addiction is only negative. This process is the same for ALL addictions.

Drugs affect the pathways involving reward, triggering higher levels of dopamine flooding the brain circuits. Dopamine is a molecule that plays a role in reward-motivated behavior. It’s present in the region of the brain that regulates emotions and feelings of pleasure. Our brains are wired to reinforce an activity by connecting experiences with reward. When excessive amounts of dopamine is released into the brain, the chemicals disrupt the neuron channeling, greatly amplifying the message to want more.

Thus, another chemical called DeltaFosB will take the wheel. DeltaFosB is a transcription factor that binds the genes and acts as a light switch for addiction, turning them on or off. Dopamine acts as the head command center, giving out the order “This is great! I want more!” And DeltaFosB carries it out. The thing with DeltaFosB is that it alters the gene responses and accumulates lasting, physical changes to the brain. Creating more pathways for the cells to fire and rewire so that it will remember and repeat the experience. Once early drug conditioning has been activated, it’ll stay that way and doesn’t go away easily. Even long after the dopamine surge vanishes, the pathways will remain right where they left off. People are more likely to use an established path even when they don’t want to because it’s familiar. That’s the number one reason drug addicts relapse after years of being sober.

Now, if you or you know someone struggling with addiction, remember that nobody is far too gone to overcome addiction. By the grace of God, you have the power to beat this enemy and win. But it doesn’t mean it’ll be an easy road to recovery. God will heal, but the consequences will remain. You’ll still have to fight the cravings those pathways have led to, but if you truly acknowledge and pray for deliverance from those oppressed chains, God will set you free from the sin and bondage.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” -(John 8:36)

You are stronger than your addiction. If you’re a child of God, then the Holy Spirit already resides in you and gives you the grace and ability to not let your addiction and appetites control you. For sin no longer has dominion over you.

“For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” -(Romans 6:14)

If you’re not a child of God, meaning you don’t have a saving relationship with Him, please know that your life is worth more than selling it away to drugs and foolishness. Drugs can never make you feel whole and complete. It is only through a surrendered life to Christ, you will find true freedom, healing, acceptance, and purpose. You were bought at an immeasurable price shed by the blood of Jesus at Calvary. Don’t exchange the price you were paid for towards something shallow and a counterfeit only to make you feel more empty, lost, and ashamed. There is forgiveness found when you lay down your burdens and shame at His feet. He has the power to wash away your sins as white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18) If you’d really like to know about God and how to be set free, follow this link below:

How To Know God Personally

STAY AWAY from toxic people and influences that’ll fuel your addiction. There are tons of treatment centers you can go to get serious help in this area. Visit this website {here} for more information and rehabilitation services in your area.

I don’t know whether Cory knew Jesus or not. I really hope he did, but needless to say, his death speaks loudly that this can happen to anyone. Thus it is important to stay informed on this topic and educate the minds of this generation to understand the harms and consequences of chronic drug use. Not just for their well-being, but also for their eternity as well.

The Idol of Marriage

 

I once heard that it’s every girl’s dream to get married someday. To have a doting husband, start a family, and live happily ever after like how Disney movies or fairy tale books portray it. So many girls fantasize about their perfect, dream wedding and the exchangement of vows followed by a passionate, heartfelt kiss sending sparks flying into the night. Girls are basically programmed to just love being in love. I see it a lot when they’re gushing over their crushes or boyfriends saying, “awww” in unison, which I can’t help but cringe at because it’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. It’s the same when a cheesy love scene between two actors appear on screen, the reaction from them doesn’t fail.

There’s nothing wrong with being in love. Love is great. Love is wonderful. But what is it that makes women so attracted to love in the first place? Is it compliments from guys telling her she’s beautiful, even on her worst days? Soppy love scenes from chick flick movies? Mushy and lame sweet talk from guys calling them, “baby” “honey” or “angel”?

Many single women jump at every chance to date a guy and the very next day, they’re already planning their wedding and future with him in their minds. Leaving them quite vulnerable to the players and losers taking advantage of her emotions for their personal gratification. Some women don’t even consider the prospect most of the time and end up falling into the same trap again and again.

Our society has this terribly shallow view that if you’re not married in a certain time frame, something is horribly wrong with you or you’re secretly in love with the same sex. Which puts a lot of pressure to find the right mate. I think it especially rings true for women whose female friends and younger sisters are tying the knot and settling down while they’re still a bachelorette past the age of 25. Most of us get bitter and upset with God for not giving us our heart’s desire and give up altogether.

The problem is that marriage gets placed on a pedestal above God. It’s worshiped as an idol. It’s perfectly ok to want a Godly husband whose heart is completely devoted to God and a tidy, decorated home to look after, but is our desire for those bigger than our desire for God?

You see, a lot of us assume that we’ll get what we want based on one of the most misconstrued Bible verses, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”-Psalm 37:4

This is not implying that if we study our Bibles, pray, attend church on Sunday, give our possessions to the needy, serve others, dress modestly, and don’t curse, then God will suddenly give us a handsome, Godly man out of nowhere as a token of His appreciation. That’s not how it works. God isn’t going to be manipulated by our trying efforts.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t do those things, because we ought to be loving the Lord and serving Him regardless if we’re married or single, since God doesn’t guarantee giving you a husband.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is saying that unmarried people, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, can focus more on solely devoting themselves to the Lord, since they have more freedom to focus on seeking the kingdom and ministering to others. It makes sense after all because married people have a spouse to look after with possible children to care for as well. Paul explains that singleness is an incredible and wonderful privilege to serve God with undivided attention. In other words, he’s telling singles it’s a PERFECT opportunity to get busy winning lost souls. Not a curse to be “forever alone.”

Married couples play a part in the kingdom as well. Marriage is a beautiful representation of the union between Christ and His church. When both spouses come together under Christ’s lordship, they further His kingdom with individual purposes to create a greater mission of advancing the gospel.

Marriage doesn’t exist solely to make you happy or feel whole. Ask any married couple out there and they will tell you it’s not all fun and games. It’s hard work. Healthy and strong marriages don’t build overnight. It’s something you grow into through a continual process of sacrifice, commitment, and sanctification. It’s a team effort resulting in putting one before the other (Philippians 2:3) and aligning their marriage to God’s purpose. If you marry with a mindset of “me before you” the result will be an unhappy marriage and your happily ever after turns into your worst nightmare. Marriage is a ministry designed to share Christ, where a man and a woman find purpose in uniting together to be stronger in carrying that mission out. Selfishness and pride will wreck the ministry before it even starts.

I think the most important question to consider is, “Why do I want to get married in the first place?” “Is it to make me feel good about myself?” “Is it so I can blend in with all my friends who are getting married?”

I can remember my high school years where some of the girls gave me weird looks because I didn’t date anyone. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Some of them even thought I was a psycho because I wasn’t as interested in dating or marriage like they desperately were. So part of me felt like I was abnormal. As I got older, I started to crave marriage, being a homemaker, and raising kids because I thought it would make me feel more fulfilled. I didn’t want to be left out.

Ladies, your ultimate identity isn’t found in a ring and a paper. It is found in Jesus Christ alone. You don’t NEED a man in your life to complete you. Jesus did that for you on the cross. Your singleness can portray the gospel very powerfully when you choose to let Christ be your all.

You can still go on dates and pursue marriage. Just let go of this idolizing obsession with marriage and remember why you’re wanting to marry in the first place. In the meantime, keep yourself busy with serving and witnessing to your friends, neighbors, families, and strangers. Living each day with the intent of being holy for the sake of the world and the gospel. Seek God first and in everything you do and He will take care of the rest.

Identity In Christ + Armor Of God

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” -1 Peter 5:8.

Our adversary the devil is on the prowl attacking Christians left and right. He will do all he can to get you to doubt God’s love for you, his tactic is to destroy you so that you won’t make a difference in God’s kingdom. One of his most common methods is attacking your worth and identity. BUT, that’s only if you allow him. So many Christians are struggling to have a grasp on their identity, worth, and value. We allow circumstances, people’s opinions, and our struggles define who we are. In order to fight off the enemy’s schemes, we MUST know what the Word says about who we are in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 6:10-18 talks about putting on the armor of God. Before we can do that however, we have to be confident and secure in who we are in Christ first. You can’t jump right into calculus without first learning the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. That’s exactly how this principle works too. You can’t put on God’s armor without having a solid foundation in Christ. It won’t work. You’ll get pulverized if you try to.

Every time you hear or are tempted to believe a lie contrary to the Word, take it captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Measure everything you see and hear with the Bible. Go to Scripture and read about God’s character, listen to sermons, praise and worship songs that speak about what He’s done, who you are, whose you are, and who He is. Read Ephesians chapter one and two and write down everything He says about your identity in Christ, spiritual blessings you have in Him. Take some notes to help you retain what you’ve heard or learned. Speak it out loud or write it in a journal as you go over it. DO NOT rely on what your “feelings” tell you. They can be very misleading (Jeremiah 17:9).

My prayer for you is that you will consistently work on building a habit of understanding and growing in the knowledge of Jesus and let Him shape your identity and help others do the same. It is impossible to know who you are unless you know God. In addition here are some free resources (who doesn’t like free stuff!?) to help you on your journey to knowing Christ and understanding your identity as a child of God. May you be blessed!

Standing Your Ground In The Word

A Father’s Letter

Who I Am In Christ Confessions/Scriptures

True Identity In Christ Chart With Scriptures

Armor Of God

Who The Bible Says God Is And Why I Can Trust Him

His Name That Meets Our Needs

Be A Warrior Woman, Not A Wounded One

Appreciating How God Made You

Embrace who you are and wear God’s armor. The battle has just begun.

Appreciating How God Made You

When I was little, my mom would make me sit at the table on evenings and solve math problems out of a workbook. Coming from an Asian background, academics was very important to my mom. She would often get frustrated and yell at me when I failed to do it correctly. I was always bawling my eyes out every time she got angry. The more I cried, the angrier she got. Growing up, I struggled a bit in school. I always needed help from teachers and other students because I couldn’t do things right by myself. I struggled with problem solving, critical thinking, creativity, numeric logic, multi-tasking/juggling various things efficiently, and other things. The list goes on.

I’m the type of girl you would see in the back struggling with comprehension, athletics, head to hand coordination, calculating math in my head, you name it. The list is long. I always needed help from teachers and classmates because I just couldn’t and didn’t perform very well by myself.  People would constantly tell me, “Think, Jennifer, think!” “Use your brain!” “Why are you always making this so difficult!” It was really frustrating every time I struggled or people assumed I wasn’t trying when I was.

Eventually I wore a mask called “apathy” and became very lazy. I felt so incapable, helpless, and weak. I convinced myself it was pointless to try. I cheated off of homework assignments from friends and let my teammates do most of the work during group projects and boss me around with doing easy tasks. In the meantime, people would compare me to my brother who was more natural at making good grades and didn’t have to apply himself much. Some would say, “Seriously? You’re his sister? You’re supposed to be real brainy like him! What’s wrong with you!” When someone criticized or would try to correct my mistakes, I’d get very angry or discouraged and walk away. Sometimes I’d lash out or throw an object at them or on the ground. I felt like I was constantly being attacked and looked down on.

I became a victim of my own pity parties that I threw myself all the time. I started questioning God, demanding why He made me the way I am. It didn’t seem fair to me that I struggled with this while everyone around me was more self-reliant, capable, intelligent, and strong. The hatred I harbored towards myself kept rising and the more I hated myself, the more I hated God.

Just two weeks before my high school graduation, I tried to commit suicide. I didn’t think I would be able to graduate from high school and head to college. I felt like the world was crumbling down on me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive in the real world. It made more sense to take the “easier” way out. I feared being alone in my limitations and failures. I told God that it was pointless to keep me alive and He should replace me with someone more capable and strong to fulfill His grand purpose. However, my plan failed and I ended up staying in a mental hospital for a while.

If you’re wondering why God made you the way you are, it’s because He has a special, unique role for you! I don’t know what that looks like for you, but we all have the same purpose: To know God and make Him known.

“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?”-(Romans 9:20). In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul illustrates the importance of everyone belonging to the body of Christ and how each part has a function. Verses 22-23 says, “On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts we consider less honorable, we treat with greater honor.”

I’m certainly not the strongest, smartest, most sensible or wisest, talented, and skilled person. I've learned that because I’m very weak I often have people pouring into me and grow at a steady and slow rate. I've begun a process and journey of self-discovery where I have to depend on God so that He could use my weaknesses to showcase His awesome strength. That’s the only way I can positively impact people’s lives through words of encouragement, insight, wisdom, and bridging the gap to resources and other people. It’s only THROUGH GOD I am capable of what I do. Instead of viewing my limitations and utter dependence on God as a "disability" or a curse, I consider them a blessing. Thus, like Paul, I will boast evermore in my weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

That being said, whatever imperfections or limitations, and weaknesses you have, I want you to embrace them as gifts to impact your calling in this life you were given. I heard a story about Amy Carmichael (1867-1951), who wished her eyes were blue instead of brown when she was younger. She hoped and prayed that God would change her eye color, but was disappointed when He didn’t. Little did she know that many years later, God would use her to save countless lives of children and women from sex trafficking and rituals performed inside Hindu temples in India. Her brown eyes allowed her to blend in as she disguised herself with mud to look like the Indians and help them escape. Many came to know Christ through her as a result.

I want you to know and accept that who you are and how you were made is no accident. God didn’t make garbage (Genesis 1:31). Just because you don’t “feel” that way doesn’t mean that it’s not true. You are beautiful, adored, cherished, and dearly loved by God. And you each have something valuable to share with others. So celebrate that instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself only stifles your gifts and uniqueness. Don’t let anyone (especially the enemy) tell you that you're waste of space, an inept loser or whatever else that causes you loathe yourself with shame and disgust. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to as long as You continue to trust Him and center your identity in Him.

Romans 8:28, “And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Psalm 139:14, “I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.”

Psalm 139:15-16, “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

For anyone who wrestles with understanding and accepting God’s love and their identity in Him, I’ve compiled some resources at the bottom to help you embrace how God made you and walk out your identity in Him. I’ve found these to be tremendously helpful and comforting to look over when I’m discouraged. It’s a good practice to rehearse these daily or whenever you need to. You can look these over and journal them if you need to or pray over these, or whatever. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Just as long as they help you to see yourself in God’s eyes. Because honestly, it’s His opinion that truly matters. (And the more I'm growing in that knowledge, the more I'm beginning to learn and fathom God's unique way of tailoring me and embracing that.) ^_^ ♡

Who I Am In Christ Confessions

True Identity In Christ Scriptures

Who The Bible Says God Is And Why I Can Trust Him

Christian Identity

Identity in Christ + Armor of God

Building Character Qualities In Children

In addition to my posts, Soaking In God’s Word and Abiding In Christ, I want to focus briefly on building character traits that every person who identities as a Christ follower should exhibit in their daily lives.

As Christians, we are called to be an example to everyone around us. Whether it’s our families, friends, neighbors, and strangers we encounter to witness God’s love as a bright, shining light in this dark, sinful world.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”-Matthew 5:14-16

But before we can be a beacon to others, we have to examine our lives first. As sinful humans by our fallen nature, we’re constantly waging war with the Holy Spirit. “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”-Galatians 5:17

If we truly claim to be born again children of God, then we should desire to do His perfect will, but more than that, actually commit to living it out. If we really love God, our willingness to obey should overpower any resistance our flesh has with His perfect plans. But the problem is that we’re not spending enough time with God like we desperately should. Instead we allow ourselves to succumb to our flesh.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

I don’t know how this Scripture can be more clear than that. If we’re serious about making changes to please God out of sincere love for Him, we have to renew our minds. Wherever our mind is, our actions follow. Plain and simple.

What are the natural inclinations of the fleshly body? “Selfishness, greed, lust, impurity, fornication, pride, idolatry, envy, strife, bitterness, debauchery.” (Mark 7:20-23, Colossians 3:5).

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. “-Galatians 5:22-23

So there you have it. Living out the fruits of the Spirit takes intentionality, effort, and persistence. A seed doesn’t plant without being watered and absorbed by sunlight. The best teacher and role model to learn from is Jesus. He not only taught how to live but He also lived it out. As we read more about Him in the Word, we’ll have a better understanding of how to live like Him. When we strive to be more like Christ every day, our lives will naturally mirror those characteristics in abundance. (Philippians 3:7-11, 1 John 2:6, 1 John 3:2)

I found this lovely chart that serves as an excellent guide to promote Christ-like character qualities. This will help parents to equip their child to develop those qualities. As the Bible instructs them train their children in the ways of the Lord while they’re young. (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:11; Genesis 18:18-19; Deuteronomy 11:19) The earlier they’re taught these principles, the easier it’ll be for them to love the Lord and cherish His ways when they’re adults. This chart has 49 Christ-like attributes to pick from and focus on implementing once a month. You can view the chart {here}

In addition, I found another printable {here} that goes well with the character chart. It contains a list of positive affirmations to say to your child. A good idea is to incorporate scriptures with those affirmations to help build and foster self-esteem in a biblical way. 

Here's another resource for cultivating and nurturing children's identity in Christ {here}. To appreciate how God made them. 

It’s important to regularly study the Bible together as a family. Something I wish I had growing up. May we too strive to demonstrate the love and humility Jesus lived while there’s still time left.

Soaking In God's Word

I won’t lie. When it comes to doing my quiet time in the Word, I don’t always commit to it. I’m going through the Gospel of Luke right now, and more than once, I’ll get distracted by other things and not “feel” like continuing where I left off. Then when I realize that I neglected to read the Bible, I’ll let guilt consume me and put my Bible away. Honestly, you will have those moments where you just really don’t want to spend time in God’s Word. But if you don’t ever read and study it, you won’t grow spiritually and instead be drifting backwards. Thus, leaving you unfulfilled and slowly be unproductive in bearing fruit for God’s kingdom. In order to maintain consistent fruit in your life, one must stay hidden in the Word.

As I was tempted to throw in the towel again, I shook off my unwillingness and read a portion of the Psalms and Proverbs. Using highlighters and colored pencils to mark certain words and a pencil to underline and circle phrases that jumped out at me. It was a beautiful time of soaking in the amazing truths I learned. I felt rejuvenated and vigorous. 

My suggestion to you if you’re struggling to stay in God’s Word is to read the Psalms or Proverbs. Study and meditate on the beautiful prayers or wisdom gleaned through those passages. Personalize them into prayers or poetry. Maybe even a prayer/poem. James is another good place to start. But to each their own. Just remember when you decide to quit, you’re admitting defeat to the devil. NEVER do that. Fight back. Lives are literally at stake when we don’t. Think about that.

Abiding In Christ

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”-John 15:1-5

A girl asked me what it means to abide in Christ and what that looks like in our lives.

And I told her that to me, abide means to dwell in His presence through filling our minds with His Word, trusting Him, and letting Him transform our hearts to be more like His. It’s a continual act of surrendering ourselves to Him on a daily basis.

The more we remain firmly rooted and established in Christ (Ephesians 3:14-19; Colossians 2:7) by saturating ourselves in His Word (Psalm 1:2-3; Psalm 119:15-16) the more we reflect His Christlike nature through our words and actions.

Thought this was something good to ponder on.



Please watch this 9 minute video that explains more of the PRUNING process in detail.

Stop Comparing Yourself

“Why is she more blessed than I am?”
“How come she has more friends than me?”
“Why is she married while I’m still single?”
“Why can’t my body look like hers?”

These are some of the questions I struggled with in my teens and early twenties. The more I started growing as a young woman, the more I compared my looks, grades, social status, personality, talents, abilities, and even my spiritual walk with Christ with others. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or maybe all of them. As women, it’s tempting to compare ourselves with one another. Whether it’s measuring ourselves next to someone’s social media post or picture, or someone’s position or possession in real life, there’s always something we want from someone to fill those gaping holes of longing in our hearts and soul.

Comparison gives birth to envy and jealousy.

Society has a way of telling us we’re not “good enough.” Culture pressures us to be or look a certain way and if we fail to meet those standards, our worth feels diminished and insecurity develops in all aspects of our lives. When the seeds of insecurity takes root in our mind, it sprouts these ugly weeds of envy and jealousy that tangles our emotions and logic. Envy is an emotion often confused with jealousy. It’s wanting what someone else has in terms of success, qualities, position, and possessions. Jealousy on the other hand fears losing what we already have to someone in regards to love and affection from others.

Comparison destroys relationships.

Through the lens of envy and jealousy, comparison can negatively impact how we view others in the church and thus create more competition than community. There is nothing more poisonous to the church than competition against one another.

“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”-James 3:16

“A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.“-Proverbs 14:30

“for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?”-1 Corinthians 3:3

When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we ultimately rob ourselves of fulfillment, gratitude, and joy.

What more would the enemy want than to destroy unity in the body of Christ by getting us preoccupied with measuring ourselves next to each other so that we could remain unfruitful in witnessing to others? The best way to combat the sin of comparison is to keep our eyes focused on Jesus.

Pray. The first step towards moving in the right direction involves identifying the root. Is it fame? Acceptance? Respect? Be specific. If you’re not exactly sure, ask Him to reveal it to you. Understand that when you’re chasing after acceptance or fame or whatever to satisfy you, you’re saying that you don’t trust God to fully satisfy your heart’s desires. This greatly dishonors and dissatisfies Him. Think about it. God knows you more intimately than anyone (Psalm 139). He knows your needs and desires better than anyone and only wants to give you the best but you go and throw it back at His face scorning the hand He offers. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Confess the underlying issue to God and be completely honest about it. Honesty bridges the gap of real intimacy with God, allowing Him to restore you and really move in your life. Ask Him to help you realize how wrong it is and turn away from whatever’s vying your attention and devotion from Him.

Praise. Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Praising directs our focus off ourselves and our circumstances onto God by setting our thoughts on Him and adoring Him for who He is (Colossians 3:2, Philippians 4:8, Psalm 23). Allowing ourselves to meditate on His goodness, kindness, and faithfulness through reading the Word of God daily replenishes our heart, soul, and spirit. (Matthew 5:6)

Rehearse your Christ-won identity. The moment you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior through faith in Him alone, you become a child of God. As daughters of God, you are chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, beloved, renewed, sealed by His Spirit, seated at the right hand of God, have inherited every spiritual blessing (Read Ephesians), and obtained a new identity (2 Corinthians 5:17). Girls, what more could you ask for? You are richly blessed beyond measure! Everything else pales in comparison.

A woman who is truly confident knows she won’t find her worth in expensive clothing, a boyfriend, accomplishments, popularity, opinions, and her body type. Real confidence exists in a woman when she has been exposed to the deep, enriching, and intoxicating fragrance of God’s grace penetrating the very depths of her soul, whispering hope, love, mercy, freedom, and joy in her heart. She knows with full assurance she belongs to Christ, knows who she is in Him, and walks it out daily. Boldly and unashamed.

Confident women celebrate and encourage one another. Confident women also embrace their unique God-given role. They don’t pride themselves with their gifts and talents, instead they receive satisfaction in bringing out potential and inspiration in others through them. These women are strong because they trust in their Lord and Savior. They get their strength from Him. (Nehemiah 8:10)

Don’t try to overcome the issue by your own strength. You can’t. Only God can change you from within. It may take some time. For me, the transformation occurred very slowly. But during the slow, progressive stages God was showing His goodness towards me by humbling me, teaching me, deepening my longing for Him, and made the deliverance all the more sweeter when it came. So be patient and keep seeking Him earnestly through His Word, praying your heart out to Him, praising Him, and rehearsing your Christ-won identity. God will reward your faithfulness towards Him. Some encouraging Scriptures to meditate on and pray over: (Psalm 51:10, Mark 9:24, Psalm 42:1-2, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 7:7-8).

Know this, only God alone can fully satisfy the deepest longings of your heart. God knows what your needs are better than yourself. (Isaiah 55:8-9) After all, He made you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139). You can have complete confidence knowing that God will supply your desires more abundantly than you can ask for. In the meantime, just trust Him. He will never let you down. That’s a promise.  (John 6:35)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6