Some General Blogging Tips

I started this blog only because I felt the Lord tug my spirit to write and share whatever He’s showing me. About an hour or later, out of the blue, I got a confirmation from a friend encouraging me to share what the Lord is teaching me in a blog. So there ya have it! Lol.

Anywho, there have been people asking for tips on searching for good blogs and how to promote theirs. I’m certainly no expert when it comes to blogging or the bloggersphere world (if that’s even a word lol), but I wanted to share some ideas based on my observations, advice from friends, and experimenting on my own.

I suggest trying to connect with other bloggers on their blog page. Not out of obligation or pretense but actually trying to genuinely engage with them. It seems the more you do that, the more it’ll expand your horizons and opportunities to connect with other bloggers who have also made comments. Those who know you’re interested in them will likely return the favor. Again, I’m not really an expert, but it seems to be the case. You could also maybe try different platforms like Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Bloglovin, Tumblr,….or whatever’s hot off the press and ask around to learn different strategies and tips in different blogging groups. You could also volunteer to do guest posts for other blogs and include your blog with your post.

Speaking of groups, I feel like FB pages don’t get enough exposure because FB keeps changing things up with their unnecessary ads and so people’s newsfeeds tend to get clogged up. So many turn to FB groups where they have daily promo threads to share their content. But a lot of them just drop off their link without returning the favor (liking their page and following them back). I think two important questions must be asked:

1. “Am I just wanting to gain followers?”

2. “Am I doing this for the glory of God?”

Whatever you do, just make sure it all falls in line with glorifying God. No matter how big or small your ministry is. Because in the end, all that matters is that you’re being a humble, willing servant desiring to please Christ out of total reverence.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Colossians 3:23

Here are more tips to read about from a well-known popular Christian blogger. {Twenty Tips for Christian Bloggers From an Expert (not really)}

Because I Can

 

Waiting can feel like torture. Waiting for God to help you find a husband can feel like it will never happen and leave you wondering if it’s in His will. Especially the older you’re getting and have already reached passed 25, by that point you may already feel like an old maid. Hearing testimonies of people waiting and lo and behold, they’re blessed with marriage and the enjoyable pleasures of lovemaking and intimacy that comes with it.

Listen, I’m well aware that it’s not always that simple lol. God doesn’t just plop a husband on your couch one day, even though He’s made it easier for some people to meet and get married out of His sovereignty AKA providential meetings or whatever you want to call it. Honestly I worried that I would stay a virgin for the rest of my life and just the thought of feeling left out in a sexually-saturated society we live in made me feel like an outcast/oddball.

I remember thinking one day, that if God didn’t want me to marry before the age of 30, then I should try to find a guy who’s decent looking enough to have sex with even if it’s a one-night stand in a hotel room and we went separate ways afterwards. I mean, some of us aren’t getting any younger so it’s do-or-die for those stepping up the ladder lol. At the very least, I can say I’ve done it and give myself a high-five.

I knew the Bible was against having sex outside of marriage, but what was the harm of using contraception to protect against STDs and an unwanted pregnancy? It didn’t make sense as to why God would disapprove. If anything, I felt like He was holding out on me and taking away my fun. But the next day or a couple days later, God led me to read a post by a young woman who wrote about abstinence and her wisdom and insights helped me realize why God stressed the importance of purity and waiting.

I’ve been reading a book called Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall, and it has really opened my eyes to the truths about premarital sex and the damaging effects it has on a woman emotionally, mentally, spiritually, relationally, and physically. I encourage you girls reading this to pick up a copy of Lady In Waiting. No matter how difficult or painful it feels to wait or be left out, just know that God knows your deepest longings and needs and He will supply them according to His rich and abundant grace. So for now, I leave you with this post by Monika.

Written by Monika Gauer

First, let me start with the basics. I’m 18, have never dated, never been kissed, never held hands or…well, you probably get the picture: Extra Virgin. I have one week left in my first semester as a college freshman and am pretty much the only one in the group of friends I’ve known since fifth grade who isn’t engaged or in a serious relationship or pregnant. Funny thing is: I am perfectly okay with that! So…where am I going with this? Well, first of all, I’m not going to tell you the right and wrong way to do things (as stated above, I have next to no experience). In fact, this note is partly to whoever is reading this and partly just a personal rededication of a promise to my future husband I made when I was 13. So I’m just going to go ahead and get right to it.

SEX IS EVERYWHERE. Seriously, every single day, whether positive or negative, sexuality makes an appearance in our lives. On TV, at school, Bible study, the Internet…it has its way of getting around. Maybe it’s because it’s natural? See, in the beginning, God made us to be sexual beings (Genesis 2:24). You know, the same time when He saw what He created and saw that it was good. God made men and women to want each other, and that’s a beautiful thing! However, in today’s day and age, sex is often considered a hobby (kinda like arts and crafts or football) and not the sacred thing that it really is. To say that you’re waiting for marriage can be social suicide in secular circles. “Wait…seriously?” “So are you, like, religious then?” You know you’ve heard these before. Now please, just hear me out—and know that I believe 100 percent that sex is BEAUTIFUL, created by GOD, for MARRIAGE—but what if we put aside Christianity, spirituality and religion for a minute and consider other aspects of premarital sex?

So why wait if it’s not for religious reasons? For one thing: STDs. Everywhere we go there are posters and billboards advertising the huge, and constantly growing, issue of sexually transmitted diseases. Personally, this doesn’t make sleeping around seem appealing at all. Seriously, it’s like if beaches decided to advertise sharks.

Anyway, moving right along…how about our hearts? The original meaning of sex (or sexual intercourse) is to be connected with someone in more than just a physical manner. It literally means to become one, to be joined together in body, mind and spirit. Sex is the closest connection it’s possible to have with someone. Do you really want to be that close with someone other than the person you’ll someday pledge your life to? I understand that in today’s society it’s not considered that different from making out, and the chances that the person you marry will have already been with someone are pretty high, but in all honesty, wouldn’t you want to be the only one?

How about “Because I CAN”? Fact of the matter is God created sex for marriage, but He has also given us the power to choose (there are a ton of verses about free will; e.g., Joshua 24:15). The Bible warns about being sexually immoral (1 Corinthians 6:18), but in the end it’s my choice. It’s up to me if I decide to do things the world’s way or God’s way. I am choosing to wait BECAUSE I CAN and it actually has nothing to do with religion or statistics: I have chosen purity because I LOVE him. Because on our wedding night, myself is the best gift I can give.

Isn’t it funny that the same society that strongly encourages being different also strongly encourages you to be just like everyone else? In the book of Corinthians, Paul said, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.” (1 Corinthians 10:2) Again, it’s our choice. Casual sex might be acceptable and pleasurable, but what are the benefits? Giving a piece of yourself away to feel good for an hour?

“Sex has been twisted by the world. That is the world’s definition of sex. God has His own definition of the word sex (which is more in line with making love and intimacy) and it is very good. We need to be champions of redefining what the word sex means in Christian culture, not shy away from using it.”-Anonymous

Like I said before, this note is partly for you and partly just a personal rededication of a promise I made to my future husband.

The part for you: It’s your choice. Don’t let others decide a decision for only you to make. I challenge you to make up your mind now, before others have the chance to influence your choices. If purity is your choice, write down your boundaries and be specific. Have an idea of what you want before you are thrust into a position where you have to decide on the spot.

The rededication:

Dear Future Husband,

Every day purity is a choice we have to make

and I choose you, on our wedding night. I am waiting.

I pray that you are, too. If you’ve already given yourself away,

I understand and will not judge you in any way.

I want you to know that you’re the only one I want. I may not be

your first, but I want you to be mine. I love you and I believe that

love is stronger than temptation: I choose you.

The Subject of Prayer

Prayer is something that’s obvious and seems to come naturally to believers, until you stop and think about it. It didn’t take long to realize just how bad I was at praying after I came to Christ. I know many Christians who admit to struggle at praying, even those who came to accept Jesus early in life. So I just thought I’d take the time to share what I’ve learned about prayer.

1. God invites us to pray. Have you ever wondered why God wants us to pray when He already knows what we’re going to say? I sure have. But what if prayer actually has more to do with God speaking to us than us telling Him our needs? Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”

How awesome is that!? The God who created the universe wants to reveal His great and mighty secrets that we don’t know! We just have to talk to Him. But more importantly listen. Prayer is a two-way communication between you and God. Not just a one-sided conversation. God communicates in a variety of ways through His Word, people, circumstances, and His creation. It’s easy to tell God our problems, thoughts, desires and then get distracted or fall asleep afterwards. But when we don’t take the time to listen or pay attention to what He’s saying, we’re going to miss out on what God desires to show us!

2. It pleases God when we pray. God takes delight in our prayers. They’re like an offering to Him. “May my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering.”-Psalm 141:2.
   “Then another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, along with the prayers of all the saints, on the golden altar before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose up before God from the hand of the angel.”-Revelation 8:3-4.

I think a lot of times we’ll pray to find out how we can please God, when He just wants us to spend time with Him. God created us to glorify Him by seeking His face and knowing Him more intimately.

“My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with Me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”” (Psalm 27:8)

3.Prayer is a duty. Not only is it a privilege to pray, it is also a responsibility of every born-again believer. Jesus commanded His disciples to pray for several reasons:

1.We won’t fall into temptation
2. To intercede for people on their behalf
3. To carry out God’s will on earth

(1 Samuel 12:23, Daniel 9&10, Matthew 6:9-13, Matthew 7:7, Matthew 9:38, Luke 22:40, Ephesians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 5:17, 2 Thessalonians 3:1, 1 Timothy 2:1, James 5:16)

Sometimes it’s easy to see prayer as a chore and just pray the words like a mantra thinking it’s good enough to please God. But read what Jesus has to say about vain-less repetition during prayer in Matthew 6:7, “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again.”

And in Isaiah 29:13, “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.” God isn’t impressed by how eloquent our prayers are, if our hearts attitude fail to show utmost respect and reverence towards Him, resulting in disobedience which greatly dishonors Him like a burnt offering (1 Samuel 15:22). God desires for all of us to be faithful in prayer, even when we don’t feel like it, but more importantly He treasures our obedience and allegiance to Him. (Mark 12:30)

4. We must pray in faith. James 1:6-7 says, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” Praying in faith doesn’t mean that when you just believe with all your might, you will receive your request, or that you didn’t have enough faith when your prayer wasn’t answered the way you wanted. All it means is that you remember who you’re praying to. You must come to the Lord knowing He is all sovereign and has wisdom to answer your prayer in the best way for His glory. I’m actually glad God doesn’t give me everything I ask for!

Sometimes when I pray, I really don’t have much faith. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t make myself trust God. In these moments, all we have to do is ask God for faith! He wants His children to trust Him. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can! Think about it. If the Spirit is God and is perfectly in tune with God’s will, and the same Spirit also prays for us, wouldn’t the Holy Spirit give us things to pray for that God wants us to pray? If God Himself lays things on our hearts to pray, it means we can have complete confidence knowing that God desperately wants to answer those prayers.

5. God helps us in prayer. Have you ever wanted to pray, but couldn’t think of the words to say? I know I have! In this situation, when something so heavy is on our heart, but we’re not sure how to express it or know what to say, we must remember that “…the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” -(Romans 8:26). Isn’t that so comforting and reassuring? We can ask God to tell us what to pray for and give us the desire to talk to Him when we don’t feel like praying. There’s a ton of prayers in the Bible to learn from and model, especially the Psalms and from Jesus Himself. The more we abide in God’s Word, the more we are familiar with His heart and won’t run out of things to pray.

“The secret to prayer is aligning yourself to God’s heart rather than being heard for the words you pray.” -Jen

Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” In this verse, it doesn’t say that God took away his troubles, but instead He removed his fears. It doesn’t sound like it made things better, but the Psalmists fears disappeared because God assured him that He heard his prayer and was in control of the situation. So God doesn’t always take away our problems, but He comforts us and gives us peace whether it’s handling our situations, developing our trust in Him, or giving us what we need to grow in our faith in His timing.

After pouring our hearts to God, we can rest assure that He has heard us and will take care of the rest.

Something to keep in mind is that prayer really works! So if you’re praying for God to move, well get ready because He is going to move mightily!

“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.” – Max Lucado

“A godly man is a praying man. As soon as grace is poured in, prayer is poured out. Prayer is the soul’s traffic with Heaven; God comes down to us by His Spirit, and we go up to Him by prayer.” – Thomas Watson

“What the church needs today is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men who the Holy Spirit can use—men of prayer, men mighty in prayer. The Holy Spirit does not come on machinery but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men—men of prayer.” – E. M. Bounds

To have a strong vibrant prayer life, it is very important to meditate on God's Word to develop a richer, deeper and intimate understanding of who He is which impacts how you approach Him in prayer. Knowing God's character and who you are in Him, that is knowing your identity as His beloved child, will make a difference in how you pray. Like with any relationship, it takes time to build and grow and the more you learn about God the more you'll know Him and it will flow through your prayer life. Things like unforgiveness or bitterness will hinder your prayers from reaching God and so can shame and so forth. Faith develops more as you consistently "work out" your beliefs in Him. Like gaining more muscle through exercising and eating right. If you’re struggling to have a consistent bible and prayer time, here are some links to check out: 

Appreciating How God Made You (My personal story)

My Identity in Christ + Spiritual Warfare

Consequences Unforgiveness Has On Prayer 

Forgiving The "Unforgiving" (Powerful reminder of the importance in knowing God's Word and prayer)

Winning The War Against Shame and Condemnation

The Role Prayer Has Against Bitterness Towards Slander Or False Accusations 

My Personal Devotions

How To Dig Yourself Out Of A Bible Reading Rut

Reading The Bible For New Christians

The Secret Sauce To Spiritual Growth

24 Bible Reading Plans That Will Satisfy Anybody

The Most Comprehensive List Of Bible Reading Plans

Six Sources For Weekly Bible Memorization Verses

How To Create The Ultimate Bible Study Plan For Beginners

Love God Greatly

Good Morning Girls

Coffee and Bible Time

Crack Your Bible

The Attitude Of Gratitude

I recently started a gratitude journal after being inspired by 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

About a week ago, I was in a rut of whining and complaining to God about how things weren’t going in the direction I thought they would until He directed my eyes to that verse. As I stopped and pondered for a minute, I realized that God has blessed me with so much that I wasn’t seeing because I was taking them all for granted. It’s one thing to be grateful whenever things go our way. But to be thankful in all things, regardless of how they appear is entirely different. God wants us to be grateful no matter what our circumstances are like, not just when things are going well. Circumstances are temporary, they don’t bring us true contentment. True contentment is found in the LORD. The only way to be truly grateful is to keep our eyes on Him. The joy of the LORD is eternal and fulfilling. It helps us from slipping into a state of bitterness, depression, negativity, and self-pity caused by an ungrateful heart. The Bible has tons of verses filled with people praising and thanking God during difficult times. The Psalms is a great place to start.

There are so many things we can thank God for if we just stop and slow down to look around and see the many blessings He’s given us. I think keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to do that. It enables us to reflect on God’s faithfulness and love towards us whenever disappointments and frustrations starts to sink in. I recommend looking through it during your personal worship/quiet time with the Lord. Spend time thanking Him for all you received in your journal. So far, I’ve listed out 182 things to be thankful for in my journal. And I intend to keep filling it up. The goal is to acknowledge our Heavenly Father for who He is and how He’s provided for us during the good and bad. God is so worthy of our praise and thanksgiving!!

Here are some examples you can use if you’re not sure where to begin:

1. God’s salvation
2. Kindness from a stranger
3. Flowers blooming in the backyard
4. The roof over my head
5. Feeding homeless people at the park
6. Visiting my grandparents

And so forth. There is nothing too small or big to praise Him with. It is important to note however the distinction between thanking God “in” all circumstances as opposed to being grateful “for” them. Surely it’s unreasonable to be thankful for cancer or a tragedy of a loved one. God never intended for pain and suffering to happen to any of us. But because we live in sinful, broken world it’s inevitable. I have a dear friend with illnesses that constantly sends him back and forth to the hospital, but no matter how sick he gets or how much pain he’s in, he’s always cheerful and looking for ways to minister to nurses, doctors, and staff. Thanking God everyday for a chance at living and giving Him all the glory. I pray that this has triggered an inspiration to do the same. The more you get into the habit of thanking/praising God, the better you see His goodness in your life.

“Every good and perfect gift comes from God.” -James 1:17

“Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”-Hebrews 13:15

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”- Psalm 100:1-5

A Tragic Road To Recovery

 

Cory Monteith was a Canadian actor whose most notable role was Finn Hudson, an all-star quarterback from the hit show Glee on Fox Television. A musical comedy series centered on teenage misfits who join a choir group called Glee club. There, they discover acceptance, strength, and ultimately their voice while pursuing their dreams in the real world.

His humility and palpable sweetness set the tone for the wide-eyed heartthrob character Finn. He was well respected and adored by his co-stars, friends, and a multitude of fans. However, nobody was prepared for the tragedy that happened on July 13th, 2013. Cory died of a toxic overdose from a lethal combination of heroin and alcohol inside his hotel room in Vancouver. The news of his death shook his fan base and everyone close to him, especially his fiancée Lea Michele who played Rachel Berry (Finn’s lover) on Glee. A tribute episode was made in memory of him titled “The Quarterback” where fans could mourn with the cast over his death.

Cory had been battling substance abuse since the age of 13 and dropped out from school at 16. His heavy addiction landed him into rehab at 19 after family and close friends intervened. After the stint, he continued the path of his addiction by stealing money from a family member. Once given the ultimatum of getting clean or going to jail, he chose the highway to becoming sober. He took acting classes and focused on rebuilding his life as he made concerted effort to stay sober. His greatest accomplishments later on was earning his high school diploma and casting his role on Glee.

Unfortunately, his turning point was tragically short lived after completing another stint in March. On Friday July 12th, he went out with his friends and returned to his hotel room alone Saturday morning. Later at noon on Saturday, the 31 year old talented actor was found dead in his room.

In a candid interview, Cory revealed why he started using drugs. He said,

“It was about finding a place. For me, it wasn’t about the substance per se, it was about not fitting in. I hadn’t found myself at all. I had no idea who I was. I had no idea where I was going. Then all of a sudden, I had this thought that I was going to be this “bad” kid. So that all the other kids will look at me and think “Oh, he’s the bad kid, he’s cool.” And so then they’ll want to hang out with me.”

Peer pressure and a desire to fit in can heavily influence teenagers into using drugs because of the challenges presented during those years as they’re transitioning into a season of discovering who they are and what social groups they belong to. Other risk factors that increase the likelihood of drug use are genetics, a community where drug accessibility is high, and parents using or condoning the use of drugs.

Some adolescents use drugs as a coping mechanism for high levels of stress or problems within their home. Others use it to get high, relieve boredom, or just out of curiosity.

A study in 2014 reported, “an estimated 2.7 percent of American adolescents ages 12 to 17 suffered from alcohol dependence or abuse, and 3.5 percent suffered from drug dependence or abuse.”(DrugRehab)

Research has shown that the earlier onset of drug or alcohol use, the greater the person will develop a substance addiction. Teens are more prone to addiction because their brains aren’t fully developed compared to adults. The parts of the brain that control emotion, coordination, and motivation develop more rapidly than the parts in charge of logic and reasoning. Teens often try to appear cool and mature hence why they don’t consider the risks involving drugs and alcohol too well.

Something to remember is that “cells that fire together wire together.” The brain has a complex network of neuron (nerve cells) pathways that transmit communication signals to one another. It does so by releasing a chemical (neurotransmitter) for the other cell to absorb and pass on to other cells, and as they communicate frequently, the connection grows stronger. When they travel on the same neural pathway over and over, they transmit messages faster and faster, creating this automatic loop that plays itself on repeat. Basically the more we repeat a thought or activity, the more entrenched the pathways form in our brain which creates a habit that goes into autopilot mode. Making it very difficult to break a habit or addiction. The difference between a habit and addiction is that habits can be positive or negative, while addiction is only negative. This process is the same for ALL addictions.

Drugs affect the pathways involving reward, triggering higher levels of dopamine flooding the brain circuits. Dopamine is a molecule that plays a role in reward-motivated behavior. It’s present in the region of the brain that regulates emotions and feelings of pleasure. Our brains are wired to reinforce an activity by connecting experiences with reward. When excessive amounts of dopamine is released into the brain, the chemicals disrupt the neuron channeling, greatly amplifying the message to want more.

Thus, another chemical called DeltaFosB will take the wheel. DeltaFosB is a transcription factor that binds the genes and acts as a light switch for addiction, turning them on or off. Dopamine acts as the head command center, giving out the order “This is great! I want more!” And DeltaFosB carries it out. The thing with DeltaFosB is that it alters the gene responses and accumulates lasting, physical changes to the brain. Creating more pathways for the cells to fire and rewire so that it will remember and repeat the experience. Once early drug conditioning has been activated, it’ll stay that way and doesn’t go away easily. Even long after the dopamine surge vanishes, the pathways will remain right where they left off. People are more likely to use an established path even when they don’t want to because it’s familiar. That’s the number one reason drug addicts relapse after years of being sober.

Now, if you or you know someone struggling with addiction, remember that nobody is far too gone to overcome addiction. By the grace of God, you have the power to beat this enemy and win. But it doesn’t mean it’ll be an easy road to recovery. God will heal, but the consequences will remain. You’ll still have to fight the cravings those pathways have led to, but if you truly acknowledge and pray for deliverance from those oppressed chains, God will set you free from the sin and bondage.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” -(John 8:36)

You are stronger than your addiction. If you’re a child of God, then the Holy Spirit already resides in you and gives you the grace and ability to not let your addiction and appetites control you. For sin no longer has dominion over you.

“For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” -(Romans 6:14)

If you’re not a child of God, meaning you don’t have a saving relationship with Him, please know that your life is worth more than selling it away to drugs and foolishness. Drugs can never make you feel whole and complete. It is only through a surrendered life to Christ, you will find true freedom, healing, acceptance, and purpose. You were bought at an immeasurable price shed by the blood of Jesus at Calvary. Don’t exchange the price you were paid for towards something shallow and a counterfeit only to make you feel more empty, lost, and ashamed. There is forgiveness found when you lay down your burdens and shame at His feet. He has the power to wash away your sins as white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18) If you’d really like to know about God and how to be set free, follow this link below:

How To Know God Personally

STAY AWAY from toxic people and influences that’ll fuel your addiction. There are tons of treatment centers you can go to get serious help in this area. Visit this website {here} for more information and rehabilitation services in your area.

I don’t know whether Cory knew Jesus or not. I really hope he did, but needless to say, his death speaks loudly that this can happen to anyone. Thus it is important to stay informed on this topic and educate the minds of this generation to understand the harms and consequences of chronic drug use. Not just for their well-being, but also for their eternity as well.

The Idol of Marriage

 

I once heard that it’s every girl’s dream to get married someday. To have a doting husband, start a family, and live happily ever after like how Disney movies or fairy tale books portray it. So many girls fantasize about their perfect, dream wedding and the exchangement of vows followed by a passionate, heartfelt kiss sending sparks flying into the night. Girls are basically programmed to just love being in love. I see it a lot when they’re gushing over their crushes or boyfriends saying, “awww” in unison, which I can’t help but cringe at because it’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. It’s the same when a cheesy love scene between two actors appear on screen, the reaction from them doesn’t fail.

There’s nothing wrong with being in love. Love is great. Love is wonderful. But what is it that makes women so attracted to love in the first place? Is it compliments from guys telling her she’s beautiful, even on her worst days? Soppy love scenes from chick flick movies? Mushy and lame sweet talk from guys calling them, “baby” “honey” or “angel”?

Many single women jump at every chance to date a guy and the very next day, they’re already planning their wedding and future with him in their minds. Leaving them quite vulnerable to the players and losers taking advantage of her emotions for their personal gratification. Some women don’t even consider the prospect most of the time and end up falling into the same trap again and again.

Our society has this terribly shallow view that if you’re not married in a certain time frame, something is horribly wrong with you or you’re secretly in love with the same sex. Which puts a lot of pressure to find the right mate. I think it especially rings true for women whose female friends and younger sisters are tying the knot and settling down while they’re still a bachelorette past the age of 25. Most of us get bitter and upset with God for not giving us our heart’s desire and give up altogether.

The problem is that marriage gets placed on a pedestal above God. It’s worshiped as an idol. It’s perfectly ok to want a Godly husband whose heart is completely devoted to God and a tidy, decorated home to look after, but is our desire for those bigger than our desire for God?

You see, a lot of us assume that we’ll get what we want based on one of the most misconstrued Bible verses, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”-Psalm 37:4

This is not implying that if we study our Bibles, pray, attend church on Sunday, give our possessions to the needy, serve others, dress modestly, and don’t curse, then God will suddenly give us a handsome, Godly man out of nowhere as a token of His appreciation. That’s not how it works. God isn’t going to be manipulated by our trying efforts.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t do those things, because we ought to be loving the Lord and serving Him regardless if we’re married or single, since God doesn’t guarantee giving you a husband.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is saying that unmarried people, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, can focus more on solely devoting themselves to the Lord, since they have more freedom to focus on seeking the kingdom and ministering to others. It makes sense after all because married people have a spouse to look after with possible children to care for as well. Paul explains that singleness is an incredible and wonderful privilege to serve God with undivided attention. In other words, he’s telling singles it’s a PERFECT opportunity to get busy winning lost souls. Not a curse to be “forever alone.”

Married couples play a part in the kingdom as well. Marriage is a beautiful representation of the union between Christ and His church. When both spouses come together under Christ’s lordship, they further His kingdom with individual purposes to create a greater mission of advancing the gospel.

Marriage doesn’t exist solely to make you happy or feel whole. Ask any married couple out there and they will tell you it’s not all fun and games. It’s hard work. Healthy and strong marriages don’t build overnight. It’s something you grow into through a continual process of sacrifice, commitment, and sanctification. It’s a team effort resulting in putting one before the other (Philippians 2:3) and aligning their marriage to God’s purpose. If you marry with a mindset of “me before you” the result will be an unhappy marriage and your happily ever after turns into your worst nightmare. Marriage is a ministry designed to share Christ, where a man and a woman find purpose in uniting together to be stronger in carrying that mission out. Selfishness and pride will wreck the ministry before it even starts.

I think the most important question to consider is, “Why do I want to get married in the first place?” “Is it to make me feel good about myself?” “Is it so I can blend in with all my friends who are getting married?”

I can remember my high school years where some of the girls gave me weird looks because I didn’t date anyone. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Some of them even thought I was a psycho because I wasn’t as interested in dating or marriage like they desperately were. So part of me felt like I was abnormal. As I got older, I started to crave marriage, being a homemaker, and raising kids because I thought it would make me feel more fulfilled. I didn’t want to be left out.

Ladies, your ultimate identity isn’t found in a ring and a paper. It is found in Jesus Christ alone. You don’t NEED a man in your life to complete you. Jesus did that for you on the cross. Your singleness can portray the gospel very powerfully when you choose to let Christ be your all.

You can still go on dates and pursue marriage. Just let go of this idolizing obsession with marriage and remember why you’re wanting to marry in the first place. In the meantime, keep yourself busy with serving and witnessing to your friends, neighbors, families, and strangers. Living each day with the intent of being holy for the sake of the world and the gospel. Seek God first and in everything you do and He will take care of the rest.

Identity In Christ + Armor Of God

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” -1 Peter 5:8.

Our adversary the devil is on the prowl attacking Christians left and right. He will do all he can to get you to doubt God’s love for you, his tactic is to destroy you so that you won’t make a difference in God’s kingdom. One of his most common methods is attacking your worth and identity. BUT, that’s only if you allow him. So many Christians are struggling to have a grasp on their identity, worth, and value. We allow circumstances, people’s opinions, and our struggles define who we are. In order to fight off the enemy’s schemes, we MUST know what the Word says about who we are in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 6:10-18 talks about putting on the armor of God. Before we can do that however, we have to be confident and secure in who we are in Christ first. You can’t jump right into calculus without first learning the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. That’s exactly how this principle works too. You can’t put on God’s armor without having a solid foundation in Christ. It won’t work. You’ll get pulverized if you try to.

Every time you hear or are tempted to believe a lie contrary to the Word, take it captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Measure everything you see and hear with the Bible. Go to Scripture and read about God’s character, listen to sermons, praise and worship songs that speak about what He’s done, who you are, whose you are, and who He is. Read Ephesians chapter one and two and write down everything He says about your identity in Christ, spiritual blessings you have in Him. Take some notes to help you retain what you’ve heard or learned. Speak it out loud or write it in a journal as you go over it. DO NOT rely on what your “feelings” tell you. They can be very misleading (Jeremiah 17:9).

My prayer for you is that you will consistently work on building a habit of understanding and growing in the knowledge of Jesus and let Him shape your identity and help others do the same. It is impossible to know who you are unless you know God. In addition here are some free resources (who doesn’t like free stuff!?) to help you on your journey to knowing Christ and understanding your identity as a child of God. May you be blessed!

Standing Your Ground In The Word

A Father’s Letter

Who I Am In Christ Confessions/Scriptures

True Identity In Christ Chart With Scriptures

Armor Of God

Who The Bible Says God Is And Why I Can Trust Him

His Name That Meets Our Needs

Be A Warrior Woman, Not A Wounded One

Appreciating How God Made You

Embrace who you are and wear God’s armor. The battle has just begun.