I don’t have a one size fits all answer to that question. Perhaps some need an extended time to prepare being a wife and mother by developing in certain areas of maturity, wisdom, humility, selflessness, learning how to cook, not being idle, sorting out mental health problems, working on and maintaining attraction, managing finances and the home, and other things first in order to ensure that they're ready to tackle the next stages in future marriage and parenting if God wants to bless those desires.
Some people have reached a certain stage or level to get where they need to be and journey on from there. And for others, it may take much longer. I remember a former psychology professor and I were chatting and she explained that everyone’s paths aren’t the same. For some, their paths are more straight and narrow, whereas some are more winding and rocky with lots of speed bumps. That goes for anything including marriage and motherhood. There could be a myriad of reasons for a delay in both because of the fallen state of man and this world, God's providence, and how a person is wired and developed and what their role is.
When it’s your turn to be married someday, you’ll know as you continue to lean on God and trust Him through the whole process. Ask Him for discernment and to reveal open doors leading to potential dating/courtship. Choose wisely. Use your single opportunities to bless and serve others in various ways while continuing to trust God with your love life. And if the time comes, you’ll just know when it does but if not, then maybe God has something more rewarding and fulfilling for you which could mean you’re called into full-time missionary work overseas or vocational ministry elsewhere. Some people work better when they’re single because it allows them to serve the Lord more fully without distractions from their spouses and family. As long as you’re walking in sync with God and His will, He’ll make it clear and will provide for you no matter what He’s calling you to do, married or not.
As for motherhood, it’s a similar concept with a different process. If you’re unable to conceive a child naturally, it could be a turning point for you to consider adoption. Frankly, there's so many kids needing a good home. If more people adopted, the foster care system wouldn't exist. But besides that, there's other ways to love on and care for children such as looking after your nieces or nephews, serving in the nursery or youth ministry. While you may have a strong desire to have children someday, it may not be fulfilled in the way you think it will be. Remember that His ways are higher than your ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) and the more you keep walking with Him and growing in Him, the more your desires begin to transform into His desires. (Psalm 37:4) Obviously, it will look different for everybody but the key is not letting something you can’t have steal your peace or joy.
I read and appreciated what Irish singer, Orla Fallon, a former member of Celtic Woman had to say as she described her painful journey of infertility for many years until she finally became a mother naturally in her late 30’s. She states that she’s proud of being a "geriatric mother" and appreciates it more now that she’s older. I thought she had a neat perspective on waiting. God’s timeline for everyone is different but His ways are always perfect. (Psalm 18:30)
As I said earlier, I don’t know if or when those will happen for you but in the meantime, all you can do is faithfully submit to God, work on improving certain areas, make the most of your single years and look after your family He's given you whether it be young nieces or nephews, babies and children in your church, and just living your life while doing good deeds here and there.
Just remember that being married and having kids isn't the highest calling on Earth. While both are a blessing, it's not the ultimate fulfillment or purpose for your life. Knowing Jesus and living your life for Him is what brings you true freedom. That is the highest calling for a Christian, whatever that looks like whether you're single, married with or without kids.
Marriage and motherhood are both noble gifts to be treasured, but with any good gift one has to be prepared for the challenges ahead. Willing to be sacrificial for the sake of commitment and understand what love truly is. Marriage and motherhood will shape you and change you in very unexpected (and rewarding) ways, provided you have a foundational pillar that's rooted and established beneath them lest they cause you tremendous stress and heartache.
Aside from the list of areas to develop in mentioned earlier, another area you may need to work on is your femininity. Femininity is more than wearing makeup, dresses, high heels and accessories. It's how well you cultivate and nurture your inner woman and the beauty within and around you. Masculine men are drawn to feminine qualities or characteristics in a woman. (And that will also help you with parenting!) Here are some resources to help guide you in that direction, should you need it.
Mrs. Midwest (A YouTuber who shares content on feminine advice, homemaking, and tips on beauty, grooming, and hygiene)
SimplyJaserah (A feminine Muslim YouTuber sharing beauty, grooming and hygiene tips, dating)
Lisa Glamour (YouTuber sharing tips on femininity, style, relationships)
The Modern Lady (YouTuber sharing the same content as above)
Chelsea Hurst (YouTuber sharing her faith, femininity, relationships)
If God has put a desire to be a wife and mother in your heart, the more you grow up in Him, the stronger they will be and He'll give them to you according to His timing and wisdom. My question to you is, are you proving yourself to be capable of being a good steward of His blessings? And, are you content with having your desires unfulfilled in order to embrace God's desires and fulfillment for your life? Lastly, is your identity and happiness staked in those desires to satisfy an insatiable craving for something else?
To possibly help you dig deeper, check out these posts down below
Because I Can (Sex and intimacy)
Marry Rather Than Burn (Self-control and lust)
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