Because I Can

 

Waiting can feel like torture. Waiting for God to help you find a husband can feel like it will never happen and leave you wondering if it’s in His will. Especially the older you’re getting and have already reached passed 25, by that point you may already feel like an old maid. Hearing testimonies of people waiting and lo and behold, they’re blessed with marriage and the enjoyable pleasures of lovemaking and intimacy that comes with it.

Listen, I’m well aware that it’s not always that simple lol. God doesn’t just plop a husband on your couch one day, even though He’s made it easier for some people to meet and get married out of His sovereignty AKA providential meetings or whatever you want to call it. Honestly I worried that I would stay a virgin for the rest of my life and just the thought of feeling left out in a sexually-saturated society we live in made me feel like an outcast/oddball.

I remember thinking one day, that if God didn’t want me to marry before the age of 30, then I should try to find a guy who’s decent looking enough to have sex with even if it’s a one-night stand in a hotel room and we went separate ways afterwards. I mean, some of us aren’t getting any younger so it’s do-or-die for those stepping up the ladder lol. At the very least, I can say I’ve done it and give myself a high-five.

I knew the Bible was against having sex outside of marriage, but what was the harm of using contraception to protect against STDs and an unwanted pregnancy? It didn’t make sense as to why God would disapprove. If anything, I felt like He was holding out on me and taking away my fun. But the next day or a couple days later, God led me to read a post by a young woman who wrote about abstinence and her wisdom and insights helped me realize why God stressed the importance of purity and waiting.

I’ve been reading a book called Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall, and it has really opened my eyes to the truths about premarital sex and the damaging effects it has on a woman emotionally, mentally, spiritually, relationally, and physically. I encourage you girls reading this to pick up a copy of Lady In Waiting. No matter how difficult or painful it feels to wait or be left out, just know that God knows your deepest longings and needs and He will supply them according to His rich and abundant grace. So for now, I leave you with this post by Monika.

Written by Monika Gauer

First, let me start with the basics. I’m 18, have never dated, never been kissed, never held hands or…well, you probably get the picture: Extra Virgin. I have one week left in my first semester as a college freshman and am pretty much the only one in the group of friends I’ve known since fifth grade who isn’t engaged or in a serious relationship or pregnant. Funny thing is: I am perfectly okay with that! So…where am I going with this? Well, first of all, I’m not going to tell you the right and wrong way to do things (as stated above, I have next to no experience). In fact, this note is partly to whoever is reading this and partly just a personal rededication of a promise to my future husband I made when I was 13. So I’m just going to go ahead and get right to it.

SEX IS EVERYWHERE. Seriously, every single day, whether positive or negative, sexuality makes an appearance in our lives. On TV, at school, Bible study, the Internet…it has its way of getting around. Maybe it’s because it’s natural? See, in the beginning, God made us to be sexual beings (Genesis 2:24). You know, the same time when He saw what He created and saw that it was good. God made men and women to want each other, and that’s a beautiful thing! However, in today’s day and age, sex is often considered a hobby (kinda like arts and crafts or football) and not the sacred thing that it really is. To say that you’re waiting for marriage can be social suicide in secular circles. “Wait…seriously?” “So are you, like, religious then?” You know you’ve heard these before. Now please, just hear me out—and know that I believe 100 percent that sex is BEAUTIFUL, created by GOD, for MARRIAGE—but what if we put aside Christianity, spirituality and religion for a minute and consider other aspects of premarital sex?

So why wait if it’s not for religious reasons? For one thing: STDs. Everywhere we go there are posters and billboards advertising the huge, and constantly growing, issue of sexually transmitted diseases. Personally, this doesn’t make sleeping around seem appealing at all. Seriously, it’s like if beaches decided to advertise sharks.

Anyway, moving right along…how about our hearts? The original meaning of sex (or sexual intercourse) is to be connected with someone in more than just a physical manner. It literally means to become one, to be joined together in body, mind and spirit. Sex is the closest connection it’s possible to have with someone. Do you really want to be that close with someone other than the person you’ll someday pledge your life to? I understand that in today’s society it’s not considered that different from making out, and the chances that the person you marry will have already been with someone are pretty high, but in all honesty, wouldn’t you want to be the only one?

How about “Because I CAN”? Fact of the matter is God created sex for marriage, but He has also given us the power to choose (there are a ton of verses about free will; e.g., Joshua 24:15). The Bible warns about being sexually immoral (1 Corinthians 6:18), but in the end it’s my choice. It’s up to me if I decide to do things the world’s way or God’s way. I am choosing to wait BECAUSE I CAN and it actually has nothing to do with religion or statistics: I have chosen purity because I LOVE him. Because on our wedding night, myself is the best gift I can give.

Isn’t it funny that the same society that strongly encourages being different also strongly encourages you to be just like everyone else? In the book of Corinthians, Paul said, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.” (1 Corinthians 10:2) Again, it’s our choice. Casual sex might be acceptable and pleasurable, but what are the benefits? Giving a piece of yourself away to feel good for an hour?

“Sex has been twisted by the world. That is the world’s definition of sex. God has His own definition of the word sex (which is more in line with making love and intimacy) and it is very good. We need to be champions of redefining what the word sex means in Christian culture, not shy away from using it.”-Anonymous

Like I said before, this note is partly for you and partly just a personal rededication of a promise I made to my future husband.

The part for you: It’s your choice. Don’t let others decide a decision for only you to make. I challenge you to make up your mind now, before others have the chance to influence your choices. If purity is your choice, write down your boundaries and be specific. Have an idea of what you want before you are thrust into a position where you have to decide on the spot.

The rededication:

Dear Future Husband,

Every day purity is a choice we have to make

and I choose you, on our wedding night. I am waiting.

I pray that you are, too. If you’ve already given yourself away,

I understand and will not judge you in any way.

I want you to know that you’re the only one I want. I may not be

your first, but I want you to be mine. I love you and I believe that

love is stronger than temptation: I choose you.