Why are some people lonelier and more easily ignored than others? If you've ever wondered that same question yourself, know that you are not alone. It's true that there are people who experience more rejection than others, or are always overlooked, and are ignored by everyone around them. There could be lots of reasons as to why that might be.
You might not be interesting or fun to be around. Your passions and interests are atypical, what I mean by that is that it's very singular and repetitive (doesn't automatically mean you're in the autism spectrum), you're not a good listener, you're a bully, you're dishonest, you're very insecure, you're too quiet, etc. The list could go on and on.
I'll go ahead and tell you that even the most confident person you might know in the room, can feel like an outsider or misfit who doesn't belong. Doesn't matter their popularity status, or grades, or achievements, looks, personality, etc. The thing is, you can be in a room full of people or in a crowd and still feel like you're alone or don't have a place in this world. It's happened to so many of us, and if people are being honest, they'll tell you that.
Still, there are people who experience this far more than other people. They've tried to fit in by being someone they're not, dressing the part, saying, thinking, and doing what they're told to be accepted. And while it may work temporarily, they usually end up feeling even more misunderstood or lonely than before.
I've compared myself to lots of people, even the ones who appeared to share the same interests on social media on repeat or post the same thing over and over and over and they end up getting like 50 or 100 likes on each post whereas I only get 1 if even that lol. I've actually received more than just 1 like but still, it's in very small numbers. Some people just have more magnetic charm than others I suppose no matter their personality style, interests, looks etc. And that's all fine. I'm happy for those people who no matter who they are, where they came from, they're more easily included or accepted in a group than others. Even if at times, they feel sad, lonely, or misunderstood.
Some people are just more set apart than others to walk this path that involves more heartache, rejection, and being misunderstood. Every person is unique by how their brain is wired, how they were raised, their experiences, etc. No two people are created the same despite similarities that may exist. I've really wrestled with self-loathing and disgust in myself for how God chose to wire me and ordain my path in which I had zero control over whatsoever. I'm not talking about choices I've made and consequences I've reaped, I'm talking about stuff that happened which is beyond my control. I've wondered, "Why do I have to be wired this way?" "Why couldn't my path be like this or similar to that person's path?" I truly don't know why. All I know is that the more I dwell on this, the more flustered, sad, and lonely I get.
So what might be the solution to all of this then? I believe the answer lies in being yourself and resting in contentment that you were created for something much larger than yourself. Even when it doesn't feel like or seem like that's the case. You have something to offer that this world needs whatever that is. Whether it's a passion for food, art, music, writing, literature, psychology, criminal justice, etc. Wherever your interests are, they exist for a reason. Even if you're a single-minded person who's passionately focused on one thing more than others, there's a place for you too. Even if that means you have to walk this road of being misunderstood by many along the way.
I'll share a funny story (well, it might not be funny to you). I remember seeing a therapist who suggested I had a very mild scope of Asperger's syndrome (which I know isn't called that now anymore). When I mentioned that to my psychiatrist who is very blunt and observant, he said, "Something is wrong with your therapist." I bursted out laughing after he said it. Lol. He asked me if I knew what Asperger's was and when I shared my knowledge, he sighed and explained what it was and assured me I didn't have it. He also told me to quit seeing that therapist. Reason I share this story is because it's so easy for people to be misunderstood as having this or that, or be diagnosed by others who tell them this is what they have or might have and that is the label that defines who they are. I've been mislabeled as bipolar (which my psychiatrist also confirmed I didn't have) or other things by people who have absolutely no understanding or knowledge yet think they're doctors or smarter than them. Thus try to assume and diagnose me. Lol. As irritating and funny (in a sad way) as it is however, being misunderstood is a part of life and some people experience that more than others. Why? I don't know. They just do. It's all a part of their life calling I guess.
Regardless, no matter how lonely or misunderstood I feel, I try to not let it bother me too much by focusing more on what gives me joy in life. And realizing that I have a gift to share with others, (as all of us do) and the only way I can fully live my part is by embracing myself with all the quirks and everything else, constantly strive for improvement by working on my faults, and use it to live life to the full. Whatever comes next will either try to bring me down or lift me up. In that case, here is a quote at the bottom to read over
"You know something, it’s not easy to break out of your comfort zone. People will tear you down, tell you you shouldn’t have bothered in the first place. But let me tell you something, there’s not much of a difference between a stadium full with cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will."-Sue Sylvester, Glee
