Sisters, please I urge you to look up the signs of narcissistic personality disorder so that you will have the discernment to avoid dating men like that. They will mirror you and pretend that they are the man of God you’ve always prayed for, when really they may be the devil in disguise. Do not be deceived. Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Remember everyone that comes into your life isn’t always sent by God. The devil sends his own assignment to kill, steal and destroy you and your life. They mask themselves. They look like the man of God they are pretending to be. But later on in the relationship, the Lord will reveal their true heart but then you've already been damaged or you caught on and were able to escape/discard them. That's what happened with me. Here's my story of being deceived and preyed on by a sexual predator with narcissistic and sociopathic traits/tendencies that you can read HERE.
After I *really* found out what he was like, it drove me into this crazy large and unstable obsession and bitterness. I was relentlessly spewing forth rage and attacks on him because he was a toxic manipulator, liar, and unrepentant abuser who didn't feel shame or remorse over his actions. In my blind stupidity and pride, I tried to "change" him and "even the score" by making him hurt as payback for hurting and using me and others. He gaslighted me with psychological tactics up his sleeve by asking me what I was seeking to accomplish with my rants and why his two best female friends know everything about him and still trust him while I don't. And said it was because according to one friend, I wasn't there to see him undergo his transformation. And when he and I met and began pouring into each other, he rose from being halfway there to becoming a better person.
Despite my second guessing and doubts, in the end, I exposed him. I called him out for how he twists details and lied to his best friends. For how much they *didn't* know, how much he was thoroughly enjoying my large obsession and unstable rants because it kept me coming back to him, which he enjoyed the attention he was getting. He LOVED seeing me struggle and second guessing myself each time. The pain. The rage. The conflict in my head. My perfectionistic typings for my release of emotions hoping it would send him a "wake- up call" Everything that was destroying me. His sadistic personality got a thrill from it.
After admitting all of that to him and other things, I blocked him and after two years passed by, I unblocked him to send him my closure letter to help me heal and find closure only to realize he blocked me from messaging him. As a way to maintain his ego after it was threatened by exposure, and dominate me with control. While getting the "last laugh" in his discard phase hoping I would seethe internally.
So yes, I definitely played my part in not moving forward when I should've a long time ago and acted like a complete idiot by letting it consume me and falling for his tactics and not relying on wisdom. However, the fact that he hasn't and isn't hoovering me shows that he realizes he can no longer control me because I've seen through him now. He's unable to get his supply from me to feed his entitled and selfish needs. He doesn't realize it but after I discarded him first through blocking him, I freed myself from his grasp. And him blocking me from messaging him as his form of "payback" so he could feel dominant helped me see that I found more freedom in that. It was a blessing. And I truly feel more alive and happier now than I have been in that past year or two. I've gained more freedom, joy, and healing.
What makes a narcissist person like him unhappy (which they already are) is seeing their prey or victims move forward, unhindered by their "handiwork". They always like to check in on their handiwork or supply even from a distance when they get a chance to regardless of what they did or what you did. If you've been hurt or abused by someone like that, I have written a post that is especially for you HERE
It's good to be aware and informed of people like that so we won't be deceived, and knowing the signs in order to expose them and protect others. The more you know, the better off you will be.
(And of course there are also female narcissists too so please be careful brothers. This applies to them too.)
Here are more helpful articles
What You Need To Know About NarcissismSigns Of A Narcissist Or A Person With Narcissistic Traits
I was affected by intense shame and embarrassment for a while afterwards but truthfully, I'm walking in freedom from that too! Stay tuned for a post on winning the battle against shame coming soon!
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