Building Character Qualities In Children

In addition to my posts, Soaking In God’s Word and Abiding In Christ, I want to focus briefly on building character traits that every person who identities as a Christ follower should exhibit in their daily lives.

As Christians, we are called to be an example to everyone around us. Whether it’s our families, friends, neighbors, and strangers we encounter to witness God’s love as a bright, shining light in this dark, sinful world.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”-Matthew 5:14-16

But before we can be a beacon to others, we have to examine our lives first. As sinful humans by our fallen nature, we’re constantly waging war with the Holy Spirit. “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”-Galatians 5:17

If we truly claim to be born again children of God, then we should desire to do His perfect will, but more than that, actually commit to living it out. If we really love God, our willingness to obey should overpower any resistance our flesh has with His perfect plans. But the problem is that we’re not spending enough time with God like we desperately should. Instead we allow ourselves to succumb to our flesh.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

I don’t know how this Scripture can be more clear than that. If we’re serious about making changes to please God out of sincere love for Him, we have to renew our minds. Wherever our mind is, our actions follow. Plain and simple.

What are the natural inclinations of the fleshly body? “Selfishness, greed, lust, impurity, fornication, pride, idolatry, envy, strife, bitterness, debauchery.” (Mark 7:20-23, Colossians 3:5).

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. “-Galatians 5:22-23

So there you have it. Living out the fruits of the Spirit takes intentionality, effort, and persistence. A seed doesn’t plant without being watered and absorbed by sunlight. The best teacher and role model to learn from is Jesus. He not only taught how to live but He also lived it out. As we read more about Him in the Word, we’ll have a better understanding of how to live like Him. When we strive to be more like Christ every day, our lives will naturally mirror those characteristics in abundance. (Philippians 3:7-11, 1 John 2:6, 1 John 3:2)

I found this lovely chart that serves as an excellent guide to promote Christ-like character qualities. This will help parents to equip their child to develop those qualities. As the Bible instructs them train their children in the ways of the Lord while they’re young. (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:11; Genesis 18:18-19; Deuteronomy 11:19) The earlier they’re taught these principles, the easier it’ll be for them to love the Lord and cherish His ways when they’re adults. This chart has 49 Christ-like attributes to pick from and focus on implementing once a month. You can view the chart {here}

In addition, I found another printable {here} that goes well with the character chart. It contains a list of positive affirmations to say to your child. A good idea is to incorporate scriptures with those affirmations to help build and foster self-esteem in a biblical way. 

Here's another resource for cultivating and nurturing children's identity in Christ {here}. To appreciate how God made them. 

It’s important to regularly study the Bible together as a family. Something I wish I had growing up. May we too strive to demonstrate the love and humility Jesus lived while there’s still time left.

Soaking In God's Word

I won’t lie. When it comes to doing my quiet time in the Word, I don’t always commit to it. I’m going through the Gospel of Luke right now, and more than once, I’ll get distracted by other things and not “feel” like continuing where I left off. Then when I realize that I neglected to read the Bible, I’ll let guilt consume me and put my Bible away. Honestly, you will have those moments where you just really don’t want to spend time in God’s Word. But if you don’t ever read and study it, you won’t grow spiritually and instead be drifting backwards. Thus, leaving you unfulfilled and slowly be unproductive in bearing fruit for God’s kingdom. In order to maintain consistent fruit in your life, one must stay hidden in the Word.

As I was tempted to throw in the towel again, I shook off my unwillingness and read a portion of the Psalms and Proverbs. Using highlighters and colored pencils to mark certain words and a pencil to underline and circle phrases that jumped out at me. It was a beautiful time of soaking in the amazing truths I learned. I felt rejuvenated and vigorous. 

My suggestion to you if you’re struggling to stay in God’s Word is to read the Psalms or Proverbs. Study and meditate on the beautiful prayers or wisdom gleaned through those passages. Personalize them into prayers or poetry. Maybe even a prayer/poem. James is another good place to start. But to each their own. Just remember when you decide to quit, you’re admitting defeat to the devil. NEVER do that. Fight back. Lives are literally at stake when we don’t. Think about that.

Abiding In Christ

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”-John 15:1-5

A girl asked me what it means to abide in Christ and what that looks like in our lives.

And I told her that to me, abide means to dwell in His presence through filling our minds with His Word, trusting Him, and letting Him transform our hearts to be more like His. It’s a continual act of surrendering ourselves to Him on a daily basis.

The more we remain firmly rooted and established in Christ (Ephesians 3:14-19; Colossians 2:7) by saturating ourselves in His Word (Psalm 1:2-3; Psalm 119:15-16) the more we reflect His Christlike nature through our words and actions.

Thought this was something good to ponder on.



Please watch this 9 minute video that explains more of the PRUNING process in detail.

Stop Comparing Yourself

“Why is she more blessed than I am?”
“How come she has more friends than me?”
“Why is she married while I’m still single?”
“Why can’t my body look like hers?”

These are some of the questions I struggled with in my teens and early twenties. The more I started growing as a young woman, the more I compared my looks, grades, social status, personality, talents, abilities, and even my spiritual walk with Christ with others. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or maybe all of them. As women, it’s tempting to compare ourselves with one another. Whether it’s measuring ourselves next to someone’s social media post or picture, or someone’s position or possession in real life, there’s always something we want from someone to fill those gaping holes of longing in our hearts and soul.

Comparison gives birth to envy and jealousy.

Society has a way of telling us we’re not “good enough.” Culture pressures us to be or look a certain way and if we fail to meet those standards, our worth feels diminished and insecurity develops in all aspects of our lives. When the seeds of insecurity takes root in our mind, it sprouts these ugly weeds of envy and jealousy that tangles our emotions and logic. Envy is an emotion often confused with jealousy. It’s wanting what someone else has in terms of success, qualities, position, and possessions. Jealousy on the other hand fears losing what we already have to someone in regards to love and affection from others.

Comparison destroys relationships.

Through the lens of envy and jealousy, comparison can negatively impact how we view others in the church and thus create more competition than community. There is nothing more poisonous to the church than competition against one another.

“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”-James 3:16

“A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.“-Proverbs 14:30

“for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?”-1 Corinthians 3:3

When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we ultimately rob ourselves of fulfillment, gratitude, and joy.

What more would the enemy want than to destroy unity in the body of Christ by getting us preoccupied with measuring ourselves next to each other so that we could remain unfruitful in witnessing to others? The best way to combat the sin of comparison is to keep our eyes focused on Jesus.

Pray. The first step towards moving in the right direction involves identifying the root. Is it fame? Acceptance? Respect? Be specific. If you’re not exactly sure, ask Him to reveal it to you. Understand that when you’re chasing after acceptance or fame or whatever to satisfy you, you’re saying that you don’t trust God to fully satisfy your heart’s desires. This greatly dishonors and dissatisfies Him. Think about it. God knows you more intimately than anyone (Psalm 139). He knows your needs and desires better than anyone and only wants to give you the best but you go and throw it back at His face scorning the hand He offers. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Confess the underlying issue to God and be completely honest about it. Honesty bridges the gap of real intimacy with God, allowing Him to restore you and really move in your life. Ask Him to help you realize how wrong it is and turn away from whatever’s vying your attention and devotion from Him.

Praise. Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Praising directs our focus off ourselves and our circumstances onto God by setting our thoughts on Him and adoring Him for who He is (Colossians 3:2, Philippians 4:8, Psalm 23). Allowing ourselves to meditate on His goodness, kindness, and faithfulness through reading the Word of God daily replenishes our heart, soul, and spirit. (Matthew 5:6)

Rehearse your Christ-won identity. The moment you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior through faith in Him alone, you become a child of God. As daughters of God, you are chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, beloved, renewed, sealed by His Spirit, seated at the right hand of God, have inherited every spiritual blessing (Read Ephesians), and obtained a new identity (2 Corinthians 5:17). Girls, what more could you ask for? You are richly blessed beyond measure! Everything else pales in comparison.

A woman who is truly confident knows she won’t find her worth in expensive clothing, a boyfriend, accomplishments, popularity, opinions, and her body type. Real confidence exists in a woman when she has been exposed to the deep, enriching, and intoxicating fragrance of God’s grace penetrating the very depths of her soul, whispering hope, love, mercy, freedom, and joy in her heart. She knows with full assurance she belongs to Christ, knows who she is in Him, and walks it out daily. Boldly and unashamed.

Confident women celebrate and encourage one another. Confident women also embrace their unique God-given role. They don’t pride themselves with their gifts and talents, instead they receive satisfaction in bringing out potential and inspiration in others through them. These women are strong because they trust in their Lord and Savior. They get their strength from Him. (Nehemiah 8:10)

Don’t try to overcome the issue by your own strength. You can’t. Only God can change you from within. It may take some time. For me, the transformation occurred very slowly. But during the slow, progressive stages God was showing His goodness towards me by humbling me, teaching me, deepening my longing for Him, and made the deliverance all the more sweeter when it came. So be patient and keep seeking Him earnestly through His Word, praying your heart out to Him, praising Him, and rehearsing your Christ-won identity. God will reward your faithfulness towards Him. Some encouraging Scriptures to meditate on and pray over: (Psalm 51:10, Mark 9:24, Psalm 42:1-2, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 7:7-8).

Know this, only God alone can fully satisfy the deepest longings of your heart. God knows what your needs are better than yourself. (Isaiah 55:8-9) After all, He made you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139). You can have complete confidence knowing that God will supply your desires more abundantly than you can ask for. In the meantime, just trust Him. He will never let you down. That’s a promise.  (John 6:35)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6