Yeah, I’ve been there too many times. Someone ignores me, pastor abruptly leaves the conversation, nobody makes effort to greet me or notice my existence, etc. The list goes on. It was the perfect excuse to church hop and land in a totally new environment where everything went smoothly, until….
Someone ignores me, pastor brushes me aside, my feelings get hurt, etc. Tempting me to move once again. I’ve avoided going to church or sticking with a church body for a long time. Oddly enough, after settling in Somerset, I’ve joined a church called Beacon Hill Baptist, where the same things I’ve mentioned have happened to me there. Yet this time, something in me wanted to stay despite strong temptations to church hop once again. It was this inner voice telling me, “this is where you’re supposed to be.”
I remember reading a book from the church library called, “I Am A Church Member” by Thom Rainer. It was eye-opening and helped me understand the importance of being committed to a church body. There isn’t a perfect church. No matter where you go everybody has sins, struggles, character flaws, and much more. There will be people you won’t get along with, quirks that drive you nuts, wrestling temptations, and so many more. But if the Holy Spirit tells you to stay, He has a reason for putting you there.
The more I stayed at my church, the more I noticed my flaws, inadequacies, temptations, personal struggles, and sins. Why do I stay in a place where my struggles and hurts only increase? I believe it’s because in those moments, God is refining me and healing my wounds. I know it sounds crazy, but God often uses painful moments to help you grow and flourish in your faith. To rebuild and reshape your character to look like His. It comes through trials and hardships. No pain, no gain right? If I had left and continued bouncing from one church to another, I would be so miserable and weaker because I wouldn’t have the support, accountability, and prayers that comes from staying in a local church.
It’s still hard and messy, I won’t lie and at times I’m tempted to leave when people are difficult or don’t meet my expectations. I’m still learning to accept people for who they are and not be offended by their actions, which might be a reflection of their problems that they need to work on. Just as I must work on mine.
Some people are intimidated to approach others or scared of looking and saying something stupid or making you uncomfortable. Or they could be just occupied or not feeling well. Don’t expect too much from people or expect them to act a certain way towards you to please you. It increases more of this entitlement behavior you contributed and misery when they reject you.
Invest in asking how you can benefit others by being there. Maybe you could be that greeter or someone who approaches visitors with a beaming smile and a friendly hello. Ask how you can assist or pray for someone in particular. Always be willing to serve and have a prayerful attitude no matter what. Remember that Jesus came to serve and not be served. Matthew 20:28. Pray for those who’ve offended you or are acting difficult. Bless your pastor with uplifting and edifying words and deeds. Remain faithful to your church and treat them the way you’d want them to treat you and your family.
If this helped you, I’m humbled and thankful. If not, at least I got it off my chest. I’ll be looking at this post as a reminder when I need it. Thank you for listening lol.
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