Wednesday, April 5, 2023

From A Reluctant Reader To A Somewhat Avid Reader

I was not a huge fan of reading. I didn't really care for it nor saw value in it whatsoever. My parents had difficulty getting me to read whereas my brother was a voracious reader and had no difficulty at all reading a thick book in just two hours. I envied him from a very young age and was often caught in a thick web of comparison by others. I was very jealous and insecure but didn't say anything. I struggled in Language Arts with vocabulary, comprehension, and reading fluency. It was so easy for me to compare myself to other people whenever they could read much faster and understand everything they've read. In school, my reading level was lower than other kids my age. We always had to take this test on a computer that determined our reading proficiency and I always performed badly on them. I think a large part of it was test anxiety because I would answer some of the questions but then my brain would freeze or stop working and I was unable to complete all of the questions and once the timer ran out, I left so many questions unanswered. 

I was very reluctant to read a book, despite the frustration it gave my parents and some of my teachers, that is until I had Mr. Murray as my Language Arts teacher in the 5th grade. Mr. Murray was a Marine thus knew how to be strict and disciplinary. I was a very shy and quiet student, and an obedient people pleaser. I was one of those kids who would shrink back in her chair when called on to answer questions in class, shaking like a nervous chihuahua whimpering. (LOL) He never missed a beat in drawing attention towards me. 

Mr. Murray would make every student in his class read a book, write a summary, and take an online test over the book to meet their expected goal set by him based on their reading level. He reprimanded kids who didn't meet their expected reading goals but was never mean or degrading, although he was quite scary at times! I remember him giving me a lecture outside of his classroom one day. It was right after he announced a list of names to the class of kids who didn't reach their goal and would need to call their parents and explain why, and he would talk to the parents as well. And while I certainly thought I would be calling my mom, instead, he pulled me outside to lecture me privately in a stern yet very gentle manner. He gave me another chance while many of the other kids weren't as lucky. 

After that, I began to take reading a bit more seriously and worked on reaching my goal. Despite my reading level being subpar compared to others. I found books from the school library that matched my reading level and actually read them. Not only did I read them, but I also enjoyed the books I read! I devoured them and was able to meet my goal in a short amount of time. I remember Mr. Murray being so proud of me. There was even one book I've read that I enjoyed so much, I wanted to re-read it after I had already met my goal. And there was another book I really liked that I wanted to read again before I even wrote a summary and took the test. 

Slowly, my reading level increased a little after reaching my expected reading goals and I started to show some improvement on reading tests and managed to pass the end of the year TAKS exam in reading. In summer school, Mr. Murray decided to take me to see Mrs. Kosechata, also known as Mrs. K, who taught 6th and 7th grade Language Arts, even though I passed my TAKS reading exam and only failed math and science. Some of the other kids in her summer school class were in a higher grade level and failed their reading exam, but Mr. Murray thought that I would be left in better care under her wing. Her phenomenal and patient instruction helped me to develop better writing skills since I was very underdeveloped, so not only has my reading improved, but my writing has too. Furthermore, not only was I passing my reading TAKS exam each year in middle school, but I was also getting commended scores in reading and writing. And it got better and better with each grade level despite my struggles and challenges I faced.

I'm certainly no Language Arts expert but I can say that I've come a long ways from where I was back in elementary school. So at least I can say that, which I'm very proud of and I know without a doubt that Mr. Murray would be too. Goes to show the impact a great teacher can have on a student. I wish I could tell him how much progress I've made now but I'm unable to get a hold of him. So the best and only way I can express my appreciation and gratitude is to use my memorable experiences to help others and pray blessings over him. 

I feel like the most important thing I've gained from my experiences is developing an enjoyment for reading. I now have more appreciation for literature and reading and that combined with some outside influences have helped me in other areas like creative writing to a degree. I have more interest in wanting to explore and expand my imagination through stories and reading various topics and genres to acquire more knowledge. To further develop curiosity and ideas and aid the process in understanding myself better. And appreciate the value in reading.

I don't consider myself to be an avid reader however, because I'm not one to finish a book in two hours or rapidly. I'm a slow reader, sometimes moderate, and on a few occasions I read at a faster rate than normal. My brain is wired different and for a long time, I've compared myself to super fast readers and have developed an inferiority complex which made reading for me more daunting. Hence why I say that I'm (somewhat) an avid reader given the fact that I find it very challenging to read (depending on the size of the book) in just two hours or a day. But I'm learning that regardless of someone's reading pace, what ultimately matters more is the satisfaction one gets from reading. Reading should be sought out with pleasure, not in some competitive race which takes the magic and fun out of it. It's okay to have a brain that's wired different from another. We're all wired different! Some people can finish reading an entire book at a super fast rate, whereas others have to take longer to finish and enjoy what they've read. And that's okay! Don't let that steal your joy from soaking in the wonders of reading and developing a lifelong interest or love of literature and learning.

Pay no attention to judgmental and biased opinions that put you down. Tactless, uncaring or degrading remarks have no place in your life when it pertains to becoming a better reader. Never let someone's myopic understanding or immaturity drag you down where you can't find leisure and interest in reading. That happened to me for a long time. Remember, we're all on this journey at our own pace. It's okay to finish the race last, just as long as you finish the race. 

My encouragement to anyone who's facing critical self-doubt and discouragement, is to simply embrace who you are and where you're at on this journey no matter what stage or level of reading you're currently in right now. Celebrate the luxury and freedom that reading brings to you, as you discover more increase in joy and a foundation towards a path of growth and possibilities. Places and adventures waiting to be unlocked as you take that step. As you continue to read more, in due time you'll notice your confidence growing bigger and a desire for reading increase. Don't be hesitant or afraid to start reading more. Whether you're a student in school or an adult, you are capable of learning to enjoy being a reader, and embracing that with confidence and joy. 

I work at a public library in the young adult section and what I really enjoy about my job is helping others find recommendations on what to read. Whether it's a teenager asking for romance or a parent asking me for help for their reluctant child, it is exciting and rewarding to see a person walk away with a book they're interested in. I try to help as much as possible whether it's selecting multiple books and pulling them off the shelf for people to sample or compiling book lists and resources to assist with further recommendations. Watching them find something that interests them makes my job more fulfilling. It's always neat to see what a difference a book can have on someone's life. And it's also nice to chat with some of the customers I serve and hear their recommendations as well. 

What I also enjoy about my job is seeing people's faces light up after they find a particular book they enjoyed from childhood but had forgotten the author or title. Being able to help them in this way also gives me joy and makes what I do feel more meaningful and rewarding. Sometimes, the way to get back into reading after a dry spell is to reconnect with the book that you loved. I recently saw those two books that I really enjoyed in the 5th grade and got excited as they elicited those memories again. I plan to revisit them soon. ^_^

Anybody can become a lifetime reader, even if it takes them longer than others. For people who simply don't read because it's boring, start with something that interests you and slowly build yourself up to explore other genres and topics. Don't be shy to venture outside the box. The best part about reading on your own time is that you get to choose what to read. It can be mangas, comic books, graphic novels, middle grade novels, teenage or young adult fiction, Dr. Seuss, children's books, whatever. It doesn't matter what it is, just start reading. There's no such thing as being too young or too old to engage in a book you enjoy. Ignore the haters and condescending naysayers who say otherwise. Instead, find people who will support your interests and goals and suggest further reading recommendations. Your library is also a good place to receive that, just ask a librarian to help you. That's what they're there for! 

Set yourself a realistic reading goal tailored to your interests, time, and ability. If you prefer to read while winding down before bedtime, read one chapter every night. Technology can be a huge culprit that distracts you from reading a book, so ditch the iPad or smartphone by placing it in a separate room before you start reading, unless you're using a Kindle. If you're someone who gets distracted easily at home, try switching it up by surrounding yourself around books in a public setting (like a library or bookstore, had to throw in the obvious lol) if that will help you concentrate better. Some days I like to sit outside underneath a shade in the warm sun and soft gentle breeze accompanied by windchimes and birds or insects making a beautiful melody to enhance reading. Sometimes, a change in scenery really helps to improve your focus. 

Another way to reduce or cancel out distraction is playing white noise, ambient, or instrumental music in the background. Any type of sounds, music, and vibes that helps you remain focused while you read. Whatever works depending on your mood and location. Audiobooks are another way to help you focus if you're unable to read in silence or peace. Sometimes I'll listen to them with headphones on if there's too much chatter and noise. 

I hope my story will inspire or help you to start reading or read more if you're reluctant to do so. Just start small and go from there. There's a vast world waiting for you out there! 

4 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading the story of your personal journey very much. You are an excellent writer. I know Mrs. K and Mr. Murry are proud. Hearing stories like yours reminds us why we became teachers.

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    1. Thank you so very much! That means a lot! ❤ I appreciate you stopping by!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your journey. I recall reading all the time when I was younger, mainly middle school. Then as a teenager I was busy with friends, work, trying to pass classes, and life. Once I had children, I read more, especially when my youngest was born and I was home. We all three read together pretty much every single day. For years, I read aloud to them, the my oldest read to us, then life shifted and we grew too busy for the best part of our days and lives.

    Now, I am back to only reading for educational purposes. When I do “read” it is audio books, most recently The Midnight Library. This was the Common Read at my college; reading fiction is rare for me, but I still enjoyed the book. Your post makes me want to read a book, and my house has hundreds to choose from and my Audible has dozens more. Thank you.

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    1. Hey! Thank you for your comment! Glad you stopped by :)

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